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Song Parodies -> "Bad Gifts"
Original Song Title:
"Secrets"
Original Performer:
OneRepublic
Parody Song Title:
"Bad Gifts"
Parody Written by:
Agrimorfee
The Lyrics
It’s time to tell a story
Something to get off my chest
These Christmas gifts are boring
The sweater I got’s a mess
You see its sleeves with loose threads
Huge wool blanket for my bed
Don’t need it, honestly, I swear
Especially in pink, no
And the fabric stinks, so
So at Christmas this year
I will say things that might hurt your ears
Believe me I held back for years
I’m gonna give all these bad gifts away
Was kind, “that was nice”?-- it was just a lie
I have a right to cause offense this time
I’m gonna give all these bad gifts away
Next up, there is the model car
I won’t be pasting all those parts
Frustration will give me mental scars
Another thing that gives me blues
That jigsaw that I will not solve
It has 5000 pieces
It will make me feel so glum
Sent it straight to trash
I wish that you gave me cash, wo wo
Another thing that I see, my dears
I got a crate of craft beers
They taste like a donkey’s rear
I’m gonna give all these bad gifts away
Next time, don’t get me a musical tie
Or a deluxe rod and fishing line
Just please take all these bad gifts away
Oh, what’s the reason for this game?
You, cheap family, you’re to blame
‘Scuse me while I shed a tear
Just no good at gift giving
I won’t say what you want to hear
“It’s the thought” will not hit my ears
Please not a set of knobs for gears
Next time, please don’t give a CD-Rom
Produced in the year that you met Mom
I’m gonna give all these bad gifts away
And please don’t fill a giant box
With tons of wooly tube socks
And a month’s supply of lox
I’m gonna give all these bad gifts away
Next time, don’t give a doorbell chime
That plays Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight”
I’m gonna give all your bad gifts away
All your bad gifts away, all your bad gifts away
Something to get off my chest
These Christmas gifts are boring
The sweater I got’s a mess
You see its sleeves with loose threads
Huge wool blanket for my bed
Don’t need it, honestly, I swear
Especially in pink, no
And the fabric stinks, so
So at Christmas this year
I will say things that might hurt your ears
Believe me I held back for years
I’m gonna give all these bad gifts away
Was kind, “that was nice”?-- it was just a lie
I have a right to cause offense this time
I’m gonna give all these bad gifts away
Next up, there is the model car
I won’t be pasting all those parts
Frustration will give me mental scars
Another thing that gives me blues
That jigsaw that I will not solve
It has 5000 pieces
It will make me feel so glum
Sent it straight to trash
I wish that you gave me cash, wo wo
Another thing that I see, my dears
I got a crate of craft beers
They taste like a donkey’s rear
I’m gonna give all these bad gifts away
Next time, don’t get me a musical tie
Or a deluxe rod and fishing line
Just please take all these bad gifts away
Oh, what’s the reason for this game?
You, cheap family, you’re to blame
‘Scuse me while I shed a tear
Just no good at gift giving
I won’t say what you want to hear
“It’s the thought” will not hit my ears
Please not a set of knobs for gears
Next time, please don’t give a CD-Rom
Produced in the year that you met Mom
I’m gonna give all these bad gifts away
And please don’t fill a giant box
With tons of wooly tube socks
And a month’s supply of lox
I’m gonna give all these bad gifts away
Next time, don’t give a doorbell chime
That plays Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight”
I’m gonna give all your bad gifts away
All your bad gifts away, all your bad gifts away
Copyright 2017, Agrimorfee
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 9 | 9 | 9 |
User Comments
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So many bad gifts, where do they all go? Fun parody on a fun topic.
Ah, post-Christmas blues. Creative and funny
I can say your gifts of praise are sincerely welcomed! :) Thanks.
Your parody was a gift to us all! Three fives!
(Artistry) Fair amount of minor pacing issues in this one, but otherwise this was a solid take on a standard Christmas bit. 555 shoddy presents!
At least it's not coal right? Then again are coals really bad?
This is a fun topic to write about. I did my own tribute to bad gift giving recently with this tune: http://amiright.com/parody/2000s/unclekracker26.shtml I enjoyed this bit of Christmas funniness but I wish the gifts were even worse than what he got. I mean to some people a "deluxe rod and fishing line" or a "Huge wool blanket" or even a "model car" would all be nice gifts to get.
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