-> "Therapies"
Original Song Title:
"Fireflies"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Therapies"
The Lyrics
To cure all my maladies
And ten million allergies
I’m going to try New Age therapies
‘Cause my stupid doctor said
My bad health’s all in my head
Well you’ll be sorry doc when I wake up dead
He says I’ve made myself believe
That life is going to kill me
It’s harsh to say that my hypochondria is just extreme
‘Cause I’m a lot more sickly than I seem
Hope I don’t pass on my bugs
With all these New Age group hugs
‘Cause close contact always makes me sneeze
But this touchy-feely fix
Can’t just be for hippie chicks
We’ll have a ball, I might even hug some trees
I’ll try to make myself believe
In stuff that sounds quite kooky
It’s hard to see how it really helps to analyse my dreams
And I felt stupid doing primal screams
(‘Cause they’re quite extreme)
Tried Hopi to help me relax
(They put candles in my ear)
But my ears just filled up with molten wax
(Now I find it hard to hear)
Went on a diet that was detox
(Wish they’d let me bring some beer)
The food tasted like someone stewed my socks
Stuck ten million needle points
In all of my aching joints
I freaked out so that didn’t go so well
My colon was clogged and so
They gave it a rinse although
I won’t tell you how; you really don’t want to know
Still trying to make myself believe
This could be quite good for me
It’s hard to see how some singing whales could really soothe my soul
Because it seems they don’t do rock ‘n’ roll
(And they can’t Rick Roll…)
How can I make myself believe
This stuff’s not kind of flaky?
So far it’s only my bank account that’s looking kind of lean
And read my aura, bet you’ll find it’s green
(A real naïve green…)
I tried to make myself believe
But I don’t feel less crappy
It’s hardly made any diff’rence, now it’s time to take control
So I’ll just take two paracetamol
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 7 |
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| 5 | | 7 | |
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