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Song Parodies -> "Luting Bard"

Original Song Title:

"Shooting Star"

Original Performer:

Owl City

Parody Song Title:

"Luting Bard"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

The bard is one of those D&D classes most prone to assumptions, right alongside the rogue with sticky fingers and the paladin who won't let anyone have any fun ("fun" meaning "kill and loot and kill anyone who has shiny things to loot"). Of all my trope-y ramblings, this is clearly the most appropriate to put in song!
Not the strongest sword but I can still
Boost the party's will to fight and kill
Not a perfect shot but I'm still kept around, that suits me fine
'Cause to find the lair, you will need me
To gain directions there, can shoot the breeze
With the folks we need to save back in the town, no threats or bribes

Well, some might go down but it will work out 'cause that's my turn then to shine
Know I'm just a luting bard but I'm still gonna save your arse
When the world's in plight you can't just throw might, you need guys like me, alright
Sure, I'm just a luting bard but without me, you'll go down hard tonight
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh
May just be a luting bard, I'm still gonna save your arse tonight

All these skills of mine may not seem that hard
But you gave them a shot and broke our cart
Save yourself the strain, you threw the rogue right out, now his job's mine
And don't say a word, I'm not that jerk
Whose drive's not in his heart but in the perks
I just wanna save the world, there's no time to lay it down, I'm not that kind

I'm not wasting rounds tryna drop my trousers, that kinda thing ain't right
Not that kind of luting bard, no, I just wanna save your arse
Got a sword to slice and some spells real nice and some mighty tunes, alright
Let me be a luting bard and then you won't go down real hard tonight
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh
May just be a luting bard, I'm still gonna save your arse tonight

Get you don't like that music's style
But don't waste time because all the while
That inspiration will save your hide, keep that in mind

I might act the clown but when chips are down, I'll be right there by your side
You might hate the luting bard but they're still gonna save your arse
Don't forget that I am also the guy who brought piles of snacks, alright
Give slack to the luting bard or else I'll let you go down hard tonight
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Sorry I'm a luting bard, your one healer, that's our cards, it's shite

Still, as reputations go "I'm too sexy for my lute" is probably better than the ranger, who sucks.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   26
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 26
 

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Observer - May 30, 2023 - Report this comment
Stop cleaning out the cookies to give yourself and everyone else 72 bogus 555 or 111 votes.

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