Hear you askin' me why I'm lettin' the tears flow
It's a consequence of not usin' glo-obes
Couldn't see bugger-all so I stubbed my toe
Should've re-eplaced the light bulbs two days ago
Then I wouldn't be swearin' high and lo-ow
Took a step too far and thus I stubbed my toe
Hate stubbin' my toe-oe

My toe found the one small table fast
Spatial awareness, my friggin' arse
I yelled words that would make my mu-um gasp
Ran out of bad words to-o let fly
Can say it was dumb of me to try
To find a couch where I could lie-ie

I tried to do this while it was still dark, you know
Too busy thinkin' of the pain and so-o
I took two steps and then stubbed another toe
I'm smarte-er than this, I swear, I should've known
To stay still, not venture through the unkno-own
Cause that's how I wound up with the first stubbed toe

Damn, that hurts, hope it won't leave a mark
Did they break? Don't wanna have a cast
And on both feet, I'd feel like a-an arse
"How'd you do that?" People will ask me
Can't play it off like a sports injury
I hate sports, and I believe in hone-esty

Guess the next step is to find where'd I put my phone
Call the ambulance to get here pronto-o
Cause it doesn't feel like I just bruised my toes
I still can't see a thing, yet I have to po-oke
Round to find my phone, must call triple-0
Ouch! I think I just smashed the rest of my toe-oe-oes

I can't feel my toe-oes, oh-oo-oh, oh-oh no
Think I broke my toe-oes, oh-oo-oh, oh-oh no-o-o
I kinda need tho-o-ose

Why do I keep movin' round when my vision's low?
That small table hates me, that much I kno-ow
Cause the little bastard broke all of my toe-oes
There's one question that remains to be asked, though:
Why the hell aren't you helpin' me out, bro-o?
I've been rantin' for three minutes 'bout my toe-oes

You just let me stumble 'round like an eyeless dope
Is this just what you do when you're bored, bro-o?
Leavin' people in the dark to break their toes?
All you had to do was fetch a flashlight, bro
Instead you sat there like this was a jo-oke
Once I find my way out, I will break your toes

Now where did you go-o-o?