I'm not so dark
To dabble in devilish arts
If I did, I'd have reason
Good ones, not reasons so petty
Like those seen on TV
Revenge, no true love, sports seasons

I don't know how you came to me, no-o
No pentagram, no slain sheep, no-o
Do you see candles set up?
This is nuts, quite nuts

Summoned me a demon
Seemingly purely by luck
That's bad luck, did not want one here, I swear
I was just cutting up a pear
The room's gone dark
There's a thumping sound, oh wait, it's my heart
Demon looks mad, I'd bet
Would not like me to say "Get bent!"

I'm sorry, demon, didn't plan
To summon you from hell, 'twas not
I hope you're feeling fine
(Oh, awkward, isn't it)
I was just on the internet
Some Let's Play's I was rewatching
Then you sprung up, oh my
(Didn't see this happenin')

Wasn't watching porn, you see, no-o
I've done nothing sinful, please go-o
Did you come to corrupt me?
No? Now I'm stumped, brai-ai-ain's bust
Thi-is is such bad luck, whoah

Summoned me a demon
Don't know how it happened, bud
Now the room's on fire, making me sweat
But nothing's burning, what the heck?
This demon's not
Looking like they're gonna budge or rack off
Maybe someone else sent
This demon to me, what a prick

Oh, I'm in deep crud
This demon won't budge
Could ask what is up
And why did they co-ome
The fire gets dim
The demon's shape shi-ifts
One sexy demone-ess sa-ays to-o me
She'll come clea-ea-ean

Turns out she's a demon
But does not want to be such
Just a few more good deeds, God will relent
And then to heaven, she'll be sent
And just my luck
One of the deeds is to help out a schmuck
My life's been shitty, I guess
Out of the dumps, and gained a friend

Just a friendly demon
Getting out of Hell's sick rut
I apologise for jumped conclusions
That straight to Hell where I'd be sent
That fear was bunk
Gained a supernatural friend, a plus
And possibly a girlfriend
But I won't push my luck just yet

Oh-oh-oh, for now, we'll just be friends
Oh-oh-oh, if no romance, won't sweat
Oh-oh, to help a broken soul get
Out of Hell's fine for me, my friend