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Song Parodies -> "Party (from 'LOTR:OMG!')"
Original Song Title:
"Candy"
Original Performer:
Robbie Williams
Parody Song Title:
"Party (from 'LOTR:OMG!')"
Parody Written by:
Wendy Christopher
The Lyrics
This one is Bilbo's number and, as its title suggests, covers his party where he performs his disappearing act with the Ring before leaving it behind and toddling off to live with the elves. Having Robbie Williams playing Bilbo Baggins does appeal to my sense of humour a little, even if in reality he'd be completely unsuited to it and I probably wouldn't actually cast him. ;^) (He'd make a good Uruk=Hai though...)
And here's a link to the original song.
And here's a link to the original song.
BILBO:
Wouldn’t want to miss this
A shindig that’s the business
And I am gonna host it
The invites are all posted
I’m eleventy-one and Frodo’s thirty-three
So he’s officially a man now
And I’m an OAP
And I say see ya later, fun to know ya
Some folks I like, the other half less so yeah
You will get some… kicks from this trick
‘Out of sight’ gag, it’s just terrific…
HOBBITS:
“Hey – woah! Where’d he go?
‘Cos he was sitting right there next to little Frodo
We’ve still got some dinner left you know
You can’t just end the party!
We’re not gonna go
Because the wizard said there’d be a firework show
We’ll be entertained, don’t need little Bilbo
Too bad he’s left the party…”
BILBO:
Ring hides and exposes
My ass just comes and goes-es
Right under their noses
But no-one must know this
There’ll be no more tricks then
I am upping sticks then
I’ll find somewhere relaxing
My life these days is taxing
GANDALF:
Leave the ring son, think you ought to
Just say goodbye to it before it’s caught you
Can’t you see it’s part of Middle-Earth lore?
If it’s done you no good what are you needing it for
So silly…
HOBBITS:
Hey – no! That’s a blow
He says he’s leaving all his stuff to that little Frodo!
You’d think he’d have thought of us you know
We did go to his party!
Fro-do watch him go
You can pretend you’re gonna cry and you’re feeling quite low
You can even say you will miss him although
I bet you’ll have a party!
BILBO:
Leaving here for… somewhere warmer
To do or die – though I’d prefer the former
This is it, I’m heading out of the door
Tell Frodo please be good…
GANDALF:
Is there another thing more?
BILBO:
What are you asking that for?
GANDALF:
That thing I mentioned before
That you don’t need anymore…
Now Bilbo you know the score…
BILBO:
…Aw Gandalf don’t be a bore!
GANDALF:
Don’t make me lay down the law…
BILBO:
Guess I don’t need it no more
Although I’ll miss it for sure…
BILBO AND DWARVES:
And so here I go
I got a little packed lunch and some buddies in tow
I’ll miss all those wacky hobbits though
I hope they liked my party
Hey ho, don’t you know
Me and my little-ass friends have got places to go
Am I coming back? Well I really don’t know
That’s why I had the party
That ring had to go
And so I’m dumping all the crap onto little Fro-do
‘Cause that thing has got some bad mojo
It sure won’t be a party
And so, goes to show
I’ve been a little bit harsh and a little bit low
Got a world of pain coming up and I know
I won’t be at the party!
Wouldn’t want to miss this
A shindig that’s the business
And I am gonna host it
The invites are all posted
I’m eleventy-one and Frodo’s thirty-three
So he’s officially a man now
And I’m an OAP
And I say see ya later, fun to know ya
Some folks I like, the other half less so yeah
You will get some… kicks from this trick
‘Out of sight’ gag, it’s just terrific…
HOBBITS:
“Hey – woah! Where’d he go?
‘Cos he was sitting right there next to little Frodo
We’ve still got some dinner left you know
You can’t just end the party!
We’re not gonna go
Because the wizard said there’d be a firework show
We’ll be entertained, don’t need little Bilbo
Too bad he’s left the party…”
BILBO:
Ring hides and exposes
My ass just comes and goes-es
Right under their noses
But no-one must know this
There’ll be no more tricks then
I am upping sticks then
I’ll find somewhere relaxing
My life these days is taxing
GANDALF:
Leave the ring son, think you ought to
Just say goodbye to it before it’s caught you
Can’t you see it’s part of Middle-Earth lore?
If it’s done you no good what are you needing it for
So silly…
HOBBITS:
Hey – no! That’s a blow
He says he’s leaving all his stuff to that little Frodo!
You’d think he’d have thought of us you know
We did go to his party!
Fro-do watch him go
You can pretend you’re gonna cry and you’re feeling quite low
You can even say you will miss him although
I bet you’ll have a party!
BILBO:
Leaving here for… somewhere warmer
To do or die – though I’d prefer the former
This is it, I’m heading out of the door
Tell Frodo please be good…
GANDALF:
Is there another thing more?
BILBO:
What are you asking that for?
GANDALF:
That thing I mentioned before
That you don’t need anymore…
Now Bilbo you know the score…
BILBO:
…Aw Gandalf don’t be a bore!
GANDALF:
Don’t make me lay down the law…
BILBO:
Guess I don’t need it no more
Although I’ll miss it for sure…
BILBO AND DWARVES:
And so here I go
I got a little packed lunch and some buddies in tow
I’ll miss all those wacky hobbits though
I hope they liked my party
Hey ho, don’t you know
Me and my little-ass friends have got places to go
Am I coming back? Well I really don’t know
That’s why I had the party
That ring had to go
And so I’m dumping all the crap onto little Fro-do
‘Cause that thing has got some bad mojo
It sure won’t be a party
And so, goes to show
I’ve been a little bit harsh and a little bit low
Got a world of pain coming up and I know
I won’t be at the party!
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| 5 | 5 | 5 | 5 |
User Comments
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Wendy - It's his party and he'll disappear if he wants to...lol. Yet another wonderful addition to your epic. Does the original artist really look like the Uruk-Hai? Bilbo was indeed the first being to give up The Precious voluntarily if reluctantly...quite an achievement in itself. Keep the tales coming. ;D
Top notch...you should be writing screen plays...
A Ringing success!
Party on Wendy-555! Sorry so late today, had to see "A Good Day to Die Hard" ;-)
Thanks for all the lovely comments everyone! :^)
@Ribber: He's got that slightly thuggish look about him - and apart from the pink suit and halo, he could certainly use the accompanying video to this song as an audition tape for an Uruk-Hai part ;^)
@AFW: I'd love to do that! I have actually written the lyrics to two musicals way back in the 90's that were performed in Virginia for a short time. No fame and fortune from it of course, but it was fun - and valuable training :^)
@Rob: And was it? (For Bruce, I mean - I presume he's still the one doggedly Dying Hard? ;^) )
@Ribber: He's got that slightly thuggish look about him - and apart from the pink suit and halo, he could certainly use the accompanying video to this song as an audition tape for an Uruk-Hai part ;^)
@AFW: I'd love to do that! I have actually written the lyrics to two musicals way back in the 90's that were performed in Virginia for a short time. No fame and fortune from it of course, but it was fun - and valuable training :^)
@Rob: And was it? (For Bruce, I mean - I presume he's still the one doggedly Dying Hard? ;^) )
For once I'll stick to comment on the parody. Some really deft rhyming and subtle nods to the source material here. You handled the Bilbo-Gandalf dialogue especially well. Fifty-fivety five
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