Some could say it's rather lazy and it could be, maybe
But I still roll along the floor
When I unleash the pepper scare, just unscrew that one cap there
Watch them wreck their food

Love this joke, an element of misdirection
It tends to be the salt, it's true
So when folks decide that their breakfast
Needs some more kick, this one will hurt
Pepper scares do that to you

Why would I go for a simple thing? There's other madness one could bring
If one's wanting to
A squirrel put in their pants then film their resulting dance
That should go viral before long

But I won't, the gag's simplicity's perfection
And easily undone, it's true
Time wasted making a new breakfast
Or scrape it off, either one works
Pepper scare's a pain for you

And I know there's one part that I didn't mention
The victim's anyone, it's true
I'd rather make things less specific
The extra steps makes my brain hurt
Pepper scare's a cinch, it's true