Elves aren't perfect, they're jerks
Stupid poncy twigs, noses upturned
Won't touch the ground, dirty gro-o-ound
Hence they live in the trees so tall
Bet that they think that their farts don't smell
They're that stuck-up, so stuck u-u-up

Elves really, elves really stink
Might be only me who thinks
That, but see they really stink
You missed that? Repeat it no-o-ow

I'm really sick of those pointy ea-ea-ears
Hate those pointy ea-ea-ea-ears
Who else is sick of those haughty toffee-nosed pricks?
I'm so over their shti-ick
Why would I lie? I can't look at these guys
Elves, I simply despi-ise
I'm so damn sick of those pointy ea-ea-ears
Hate those pointy ea-ea-ea-ears

I'm sick of their long blonde hair, guys
"Ev'ry other species is shite"
Arrogant tossers, refuse to like
Any elvish character, won't lie
Legolas is a Mary Sue, right
No dig at his feminine style
It's the "elves are better" thing, that I
Take great issue with because it's shite
Just utter shite

If you take some offense
From my opinion against any elf
I wouldn't blame you for your ra-a-age
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

I'm being kind of a prick
Gen'ralising elves like this
Might be good ones, I admit
But to me, they don't stand ou-ou-out

I'm really sick of those pointy ea-ea-ears
Hate those pointy ea-ea-ea-ears
Sure, their magic is kind of cool, that I'll admit
They're still written like gi-its
Writers please write likeable elves sometime
Too many snobby gu-uys
I'm still quite sick of those pointy ea-ea-ears
Hate those pointy ea-ea-ea-ears

"You like Legend of Zelda, right?
Aren't Link and that all elfy guys?"
Nope, they're called Hylians, you dumbshite
It's only their ears that are elf-like
The same thing goes for Elder Scrolls, right
They're Altmer, Bosmer and such-like
Not a race of androgynous guys
That I have the innate urge to smite
Just wanna smite elves, wanna smite
Cause they're all the same stereotype
Oh, little variance, same old shite
Same bloody shite, to me, they're shite
I'm aware I'm being unfair, right
If you like elves, won't say that you're shite
Just getting this off my chest, alright
We're still cool, right? Don't ban me, right