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Song Parodies -> "CS Cut"
Original Song Title:
"Boa Hunt"
Original Performer:
Susanna Viljanen
Parody Song Title:
"CS Cut"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
Crystal Steel (aka Impregnated steel) is a knife that has jagged shavings added to the forging process to form a knife that cuts top and bottom, side and side. It leaves a terrible wound of torn flesh like removing a barbed projectile. Doctors find it hard to stitch up and many attacked with it multiple times bled out within minutes. A gruesome weapon pioneered by the Germans once again, they are illegal to own in civilian life and the militaries that have them keep them for "special" tasks. It also makes an excellent torture weapon :)
Bad scar, scar, scar for a CS cut
impreganted steel jagged sides do jut
The wound is bleeding and it's hard to shut
many chunks of flesh ripped out to rot
[Micro-gaps on sides, no need for slots]
Hurts like hell when it's stuck inside
protrusion of the crystalline
Removed, it tears apart a man
Doc's afraid of a CS cut
[The stitching doesn't help that much]
impreganted steel jagged sides do jut
The wound is bleeding and it's hard to shut
many chunks of flesh ripped out to rot
[Micro-gaps on sides, no need for slots]
Hurts like hell when it's stuck inside
protrusion of the crystalline
Removed, it tears apart a man
Doc's afraid of a CS cut
[The stitching doesn't help that much]
Note that I shortened Susanna's original parody title "A Boa Hunt" to just "Boa Hunt". My right as an unorthodox parodist with my own style and agenda. My rights reserved.
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User Comments
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Note: Crystal Steel is called that b/c the jagged shavings feel like "shards of broken glass" when cutting into someone! And FYI, GEMA in Nazi Germany experimented with crystal radios as well as helping to make a stealth test plane using crystals to deflect radar transmissions. The SS made the first crystal knives in WW2; along with disc grenades, this knife would have been issued in Oct '45 forward...
Try super glue. I never leave home without a tube of cyanoacrylate glue - it literally cements the wound together. A 5.55 ml tube should suffice.
Susanna, nice response! LOL! You just reminded me of "Superglue dentistry" when you cannot afford a dentist to fix broken teeth or missing fillings!!! Certain ethnic groups here in Cali use it all the time!
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