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Song Parodies -> "Tossed Bouquet"

Original Song Title:

"Love to Lay"

Original Performer:

The Weeknd

Parody Song Title:

"Tossed Bouquet"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Some traditions really deserve a second look.
They've tied the knot, they've wed, fine kiss
Time to move to that one part that makes us lose our heads
Which fool made up this schtick? Some git
Who decided this show of big love needs fightin' chicks?
If you want to turn a group of women crazy
There is nothin' quicker than a throw of daisies (hey)

It's the tossed bouquet (whoa-oh) that turns them all crazed (oh-oh-oh-oh)
The tossed bouquet makes charm and grace go rabid, not sane (oh-oh-oh-oh)
The tossed bouquet (the whole bunch thrown) is absurd, it's not great (afraid so)
The tossed bouquet destroys the brain and not the fun way (it just blows, hey)

A weird good luck thing, pick who's next (who's next)
Like that's all folks want (folks want), no, I'm not bitter, cut that shit
Turns a nice event into an utter frenzy
All this love and joy replaced with rage and envy (hey)

It's the tossed bouquet (whoa-oh), from guests to bridesmaids (oh-oh-oh-oh)
The tossed bouquet, into that fray, I'd never dare stray (no how (oh-oh-oh-oh) and no way)
The tossed bouquet (hey, the whole bunch thrown), yeet some thorns in their face (would hurt so)
The tossed bouquet, a tad insane, can it not take place (it just blows, ho-oh-oh)?

Sometimes there's something else, same old tripe, diff'rent part
The garter's thrown away, rarely spied in films 'cause
Men aren't supposed (supposed) to give (to give) a shit (hey)

The tossed bouquet (ha, the tossed (whoa-oh) bouquet), more of a girl's game (not my thoughts (oh-oh-oh-oh), just old claims)
The tossed bouquet, I only say what other folks say (whoa-ooh-whoa-oh-oh) (oh-oh-oh-oh)
The tossed bouquet (the whole bunch thrown), a tradition I hate (rate that low)
The tossed bouquet just causes pain, lit'ral and heartache (it just blows, ho)

Dunno what's worse: the other tradition of drinking wine from the bride's shoe, or me only discovering upon submission that I forgot the second "u" in "bouquet" the whole time. How the hell did Notepad not catch that? It's got spellcheck now!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   14
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 14
 

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