These red Starbucks cups made Rudolph a criminal
Green pointy shoes, flying sleighs and snow are minimal
We're disturbed by these cups since they are despicable
Because your soy lattes are "CRAP!!!"

That red Starbucks cup is deemed inexcusable
Tay Swift's "Starbucks lovers" are near institutional
With mouths full of foam, Rabies are irrefutable
"SANTA CLAUS AIN'T ON MY FRAP!!!"
Boo!!!

Red Starbucks Cup! We're going nuts!
You'll hear us venting! Size isn't Venti!
We loathe you Red Starbucks Cup! Christmas was mugged!
That color's gaudy! So thanks a latte!!!

We want Hanukkah so a Menorah you'll add
But then you will make all the Africans mad
Then Mormons all frown, Agnostics talk smack
"Well... That's why we went with... Nothing"

Well, I know just the trick say my name's "Merry Christmas"
But you wrote with your Sharpie that my name is "Listless"
Dude, Don't shove down my throat all of your P.C-ness
Wait, scratch that, that just sounds... naughty

Red Starbucks Cup! We're all fed up!
Not Holly Jolly! A Grande Folly!
We loathe you Red Starbucks Cup! Spent twenty bucks!
On Decaf Coffee! It's "Death to Frosty!"

Now that Donald Trump dude said: "Let's boycott these weirdos!"
"There's no doodled sled?! My intake is zero!
Kick our caffeine habits, Pour out my espresso!
Because now our X-Mas is doomed!"

Red Starbucks Cup, You're worse than pathetic
Even Scrooge is shaming: Your bloody aesthetics
Your company's not all that apologetic
When they jot down the wrong name:
"Red Starbucks Cup... You're more than messed up... (Ho, ho, Oh-no)
You're Sa... You're Satan, yeah (Hell spawn)
Hashtags will have your reign end!"

Red Starbucks Cup! You hunk of junk!
We'll form an army! A Christmas army!
I loathe you Red Starbucks Cup! You will be chucked!
Like our John McClane, Yell "Yippie-Ki-Yay!"

Red Starbucks Cup! You will be crushed!
You made us rowdy! Now we are drowsy!
Red Starbucks Cup! You "Stink, stank, stunk!"
Now we need coffee! Please give us coffee!