Song Parodies -> "Artifact"

Original Song Title:

"Heart Attack"

Original Performer:

"Artifact"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Treasure hunting is a pretty perilous profession. See if you can guess what this particular treasure hunter is from before the end.

Intro: Whoop!
Excavate that!
Oh! Whoa!
Oh! Whoa!

Verse 1: I found something so precious
It’s so rare, that I’m in awe
Never been seen before
Pure gold, won’t stop shining
Even deep within tomb walls
Curses will soon befall
But I don’t care

Chorus: Cuz I’m con-sumed with greed
Can’t think about giving it up
Cuz I never knew I, would find such an artifact
Death to the thieves, warnings never do mean much
But I never knew gold would curse me really bad
What worse could it even add?
Oh! Whoa!
Nev-nev-nev-nev-nev-nev-never knew gold
Oh! Whoa!
W-w-w-w-would curse me really bad
The best find that I’ve ever had

Verse 2: All this time, should have known was a jinxed relic
Seems to be a find, I regret the most (Oh!)
Screw the hex this idol’s so epic
So I’m never backing down
Even when the chimps come close (Whoa!)
Because I stole gold
With a spell that was so old
Ignored what it had told
That’s the reason chimps chased me down

Chorus: Even though it’s cursed I’m in too deep
No roots or trees trippin’ me up (Oh!)
But I never knew spells, could loom over artifacts (Ooo and they’re chasin’ me)
They’re chasin’ me, swear I’d never thought I’d run (I never thought I’d run)
Cuz I never knew chimps could run so freakin’ fast
The worst run of a temple lad
Oh! Whoa!
Nev-nev-nev-nev-nev-nev- never knew chimps
Oh! Whoa!
C-c-c-c-could run so freakin’ fast
More pain than I would have asked

Bridge: Man this sucks
Cuz I want this head
But they want me dead
And this curse binds us together
But if this gold’s sold
I would be out the mole’s hole
Never be great not bold
That’s the reason I stole that gold

Chorus: Even though I’m chased I’ll sprint and leap
Won’t contemplate giving it up (Oh!) (Never knew I’d die for this, no)
And I never knew I, would die for an artifact
Can barely breathe, swear I’ve never ran so much
(I can barely breathe, swear I’d never run so much!)
And I never knew gold, could be such pain in ass (Oh!)
Not learned in my temple class
Oh! Whoa!
Nev-nev-nev-nev-nev-nev-never knew gold
Oh! Whoa!
C-c-c-c-could be such pain in ass
Not learned in my temple class

January 8, 2013. If you guessed the game Temple Run, you're correct! Congratulations, you get a virtual high-five! Here you go! [Pause for high-five]. Now, please rate and COMMENT! :)

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Old Man Ribber - January 09, 2013 - Report this comment

Hi Blayde - Very enjoyable. I don't know TOS or the video game, but I sure "dig" what you've done here. ;D

Wendy Christopher - January 09, 2013 - Report this comment

I guessed Gollum, interpreting 'chimps' as being hobbits, so I'm a doofus - no high-five for me today. But three very high 5's for you for this parody :^)

Matthias - January 16, 2013 - Report this comment

I really had no idea what you were talking about with this parody but I loved the title sub

Agrimorfee - January 16, 2013 - Report this comment

I see where Matthias is coming from here. It feels like parts of the story were left out, and other times didnt make sense at all. I cringed at the line "What worse could it even add?" ...poetic license is valid, but...better luck next time. Blaydeman.

Max Power - January 24, 2013 - Report this comment

I thought I commented, must have forgot to click send. Nice piece of work even though the intro, verse, and chorus tags made it a bit messy. Still funny, 555 hearts pulled out.

bobpiecheese - January 27, 2013 - Report this comment

(ABC) Definitely an interesting take on the "adventuring archaeologist" trope, though I think it could've used a bit of polishing. 555!

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