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Song Parodies -> "Who Put The 'Lamb' In The Wham-Bam-Ma'am-Lamb Ding-Dong?"

Original Song Title:

"Who Put The Bomp?"

Original Performer:

Barry Mann

Parody Song Title:

"Who Put The 'Lamb' In The Wham-Bam-Ma'am-Lamb Ding-Dong?"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

How I inspire me! ... uh, how my "feminine side" inspired "me" with "her" reply to Old Man Ribber here. So, by popewelar demand:
(Great OS video here.)
Don't like to wank: this guy;
But coat his schlong
In ovine play; it fits like glove, ooooh-whee!

Who took a romp in the swamp, no pomp, just "chomp"?
Who put the "lamb" in the wham-bam-Ma'am-lamb ding-dong?
Who put the "flock" in the schlock of shockin' rock?
Who took a dip with his chip hip-deep, sheep dip?

Tom-my's the man
You'd best not shake his hand
He strayed in labi-al ovine, you see

Ewe!
When Am-I-Right read:
"Ewes: fav'rite thing: each flings's a new ewe"
Every word, a blight upon Chuck's heart
And when they saw him writing
" 'Ram' and cram, and slam .... a lamb, hot da*n, and ring gong"
They said, "We'd rather read of fart"

Nooooo!
Who wrote the lines 'bout "Ovine is mine, and fine!"
Who put the charm in the farm? Alarming thing, fond?
Who is the male who will nail the "quail" in dale?
Who is the nerd who preferred the herd to "bird"? [1]

Tur- -tle's the "man"!
At sheep, he shakes his gland
Not "maid", but Mary's little lamb, wants he!

Eewww!
It's slime, but he is prone --
Schnook! Will he brook a "she"? Nooky, spree? Look as he's crookedly hooking a sheep!
Gets wry TT hard; have a go!
At every single chance to --
Strip, and grip a nip, hip, and slip the "lip",
He'll always jizz; he loves it so

Whoa!
Who put the "a*s" in the pasture, unsurpassed?
"Ar-ies, the Ram", is the turtle's fertile thing, strong [2]
Who is the klutz: puts his putz and nuts: lamb-butts?
Who thinks it's luck: tuck his schmuck; be stuck in muck?

Why "sheepish" fan?
Should psycho flake be banned?
Decayed; dismaying all, thereof: TT

[spoken]
Yeah!
Bo Peep: un-button pants, for butt-in' mut-ton
Fav'rite "bunny":
A*s in pasture grass: Long ... for, ever!
And when he writes, "Shepherd: prep with pep; next step:"
You know this green twit
Hits the bottom with his Don McClean pun, obscene, quite unclean shtup

[repeat until he fades out]



[1] (for US readers) I think "bird" to refer to (human) females is more common in the UK, and possibly "quail" also.

[2] "Aries" = the constellation whose name is Latin for "ram", originally from Greek mythology.

© 2009 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Hello...what's this? Here's a clue, Watson! If Turtle were indeed Fiddlegirl, wouldn't FG's material have extensive footnotes? Quick, Watson! The game is afoot! By the way, this one is pure sheep thrills in the best TT tradition! ;D
AFW - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Delightfully kinky and polished with perversion...It might take the devil's tongue to sing it, tho'...threw mine out'a joint twice, tryin'
Timmy1000 - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Great OS and great write on it. Subs are tough on this one. I could sing it in my head but not aloud as I was afraid the guys in the white coats might pick me up.
Riddlegirl - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Oh my dear Ribber, you are an old sole, but I think your fondness for Fiddlegirl is fueling your fantasy that she's for real. Better to slip with foot than reason. ;)
Sheep-lock Homes - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Riddlegirl, doesn't OMR have a rather valid point there about the famous fooTnoTes? (Why didn't anyone else notice that in FG's portfolio? A whole alter-ego, just to write footnote-less songs?)

Is your wistfulness at having FG pair with TT, or vice versa, rather than with yourself, fueling your fantasy that she's not for real? Denial is not a river in Egypt....
Riddlegirl - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment

You're reaching Thomas. Most of FG's songs were pretty straightforward. No mention of a lack of footnotes in your original denial, either. And then there's that pesky confession. Your words:
"All right, all right, I confess... *BUSTED* by whoever the clever Riddlegirl is."

And: Wondered when someone would finally tumble. OK, so, Riddlegirl ("If that really IS your name" -- Peter Falk as "Lou Peckinpaugh" in "The Cheap Detective"), I've 'fessed up ... to (cough) one of the grandest hoaxes ever put on here, there, or anywhere (cough). (admiration and adulation graciously received). Your turn to 'fess up. Who are you, and what tipped you off?"

I honestly don't blame you for wanting to keep the FG myth going, but you erred in confessing too soon. She is indeed an intriguing character and you are an experienced actor, as you have pointed out to us before.
FG @ RG - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
(re: comment to OMR)........ In point of fact, I am *everyone's* FantasyGirl! ;)
Riddlegirl - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
@ Fiddlegirl: Not even Riddlegirl would argue with that statement. But in the end, that's all it is: a fantasy from the mind of a turtle. ;)
DeTecTive Turtle - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
RG: You also have the first denial above that "confession", and this denial here, explaining the purpose of that confession: To have some fun with the *paranoid*, *delusional* mind who dreamt up the idea of FG's non-existence. (Like the paranoid, delusional mind who accused TT of being a girl. See FG's song.) Yet somehow, the one that suits your delusions has the most credibility to you. We believe what we want to believe....

"Most of FG's songs were pretty straightforward."
Good point, Whereas most of TT's are, uh ... not. heh heh.

"No mention of a lack of footnotes in your original denial.."
Um, because I didn't think anyone could possibly take such a ludicrous idea seriously? I don't issue detailed, evidence-laden denials of the existence of leprechauns and the tooth fairy, either.

Yes, I'm a good actor, and staging an agreement with the idea was a fun challenge -- done far too well, apparently. Thank you for the compliment -- when do I get my Oscar?

"you erred in confessing too soon".
Seems like that should make the sudden 180 even more suspicious, but I guess people are gullible -- especially *you* heh heh. A *really* well-staged hoax would have involved a far more lengthy denial.

The truth is, the more I write about this, the pi**er I'm getting at a terrible insult to a valued and highly-regarded friend. I may have to ask for Admin intervention (confirmation of IPs widely-separated geographically, etc.), but not yet. I have a little more to say on the subject, and will, when time permits, either today or tomorrow.

Everyone else, or at least those with any common sense: If you have any respect at all for me, my abilities, the abilities displayed in FG's solo works, and in our joint works, please stop following this nonsense. You're insulting someone about whom I've come to care highly, though have never met F2F and probably never will (1139 email exchanges at last count, plus real-time chat).

One suspect has been named at FG's post today, and I have one other in mind. I'd like to hear from the first one named.

Anyone watch the original TV series, "The Incredible Hulk"?
Dr. David Banner: "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." (before he turns into The Hulk).

Yes, I'm a barrel of laughs, with a sharp sarcastic side as well. Take the laughs off of the sarcasm, and what you might see is angry -- *very* angry.

More to follow in good time.
Replying to The resT of you... - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: Sharp spot!!! ... thanks for great comment and vote! :-D

AFW: Yeah, I wondered if anyone would try to sing it. I certainly couldn't -- especially not the "boogity boogity boogity boogity boogity boogity shoop" sub :-) Thanks for v/c!

Timmy1000: You're a better man -- or a better singer, anyway -- than AFW or I. *Please* record and post it! :-D If you can do it -- clearly -- we'd all bow to your articulative skills. :) Thanks for v/c!

FG: You're certainly mine (in the parody-partner department, cough). Never dreamt I'd hook up with anyone so compatible, intelligent, creative, and such a pleasure to work with. Actually, given my own, uh, "quirks", never even dreamt such a person even existed. MUAH!
Christie Marie M - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Hey, Tommy to the T! Long time no see!!!! Nice to see you writing again, same goes with "Fiddlegirl!" (your alter-ego) LOL!!! What's great about your lamb parodies are that they make great puns to the lyrics! Bleatingly funny! Great job on a hard OS. 5's!
Tommy Turtle - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: Nice to see you too, but please read the commentary: FG is not my "alter-ego", she is a living, breathing, woman who is a lot of fun to work with and contributes greatly when we work together. Thanks for the v/c, and glad you like the lamby-puns! (gotta admit, this OS ain't easy, as you said. :-D)
TJC - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
I don't know WTF (which Turtle fiddleith) is goin' on... perhaps the Turtle is me too... the only thing I'm certain about is that the Clever Carapaced One is hyper-intelligent and, if so motivated, diligent n' cunning enough to pull off all sides of this Tempest in a T-pot simultaneously with 3 flippers tied behind his wizened back... anxiously awaiting the *real* denouement.... BTW you Sybillistic Cabal Ewe, great parody!
Tommy Turtle - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
TJC: You didn't believe the email I sent you *before* the "confession" in question, giving you a heads-up, saying "Watch me have some fun with Riddlegirl"? ... or maybe ya missed it, cuz after, um, (calculates in head) two years and three weeks of e-friendship, two professional collabs, and countless amateur head-knocking, I'da thunk you'da believed it....

Anyway, sometimes things really *are* what they seem. FG is FG (yay!), TT is TT, (fill in the blank), and Riddlegirl needs to stop seeing ghosts everywhere and get back to Planet Earth.
AbsenTT-Minded Sybil @ TJC - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Oops, forgot (distracted): thanks for vote and, uh, "extravagant" comment!
Riddlegirl - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment

You’re really coming out of your shell here, calm down. Why in the world would the Admin get involved here? To talk about your intimidation tactics or your threats of getting angry? You seemed to be OK last week and having some fun with it. Now you’ve changed your mind again? Whatever.

You’ve gone way overboard here, but that’s your style. RG didn’t have any kind of vendetta against TT when this all started. But your reaction in the last day or so confirms everything that I need to know. Thanks.

There will be another RG parody today that was submitted before your comments. Nothing I can do about that now and not sure that I would anyway, given the way you’re behaving. Sorry I spoiled your fantasy. And don’t bother Guy, I’d hate for your wrath to be wrongfully directed at an innocent person.
Twiddlegirl - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumbs til this all gets straightened out.
TT @ RG - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
"Yes, I wrote all 141 songs of TJC's as well" ... thanks for the compliment that I am *truly* Superman (despite not being a Trekkie, one of his favorite themes.

I also wrote all 2623 songs by "John Barry". ... admittedly, few others besides TT have John's vocabulary. (sheesh)

You're starting to see ghosts everywhere. Get help. This is not an insult or an attack, it's an attempt to reach out to someone who is in genuine trouble. Get help. *Seriously*.

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