Mary Hill: teenage heartthrob,
A cherry-ful mark
She said she'd stay her nat'ral way
For wedding bells, hark!
Now, all the guys, they fantasized her
But none of them de-hymenized her
'Cause Mary Hill had such an iron-willed heart
A cherry-filled tart!

Mary Hill loved to write
At a parody site
Songs she wrote got her max vote
Fivin' all Amiright
Though, with her humor, Mary Hill was a teaser
On the message boards, what a wheezer!
Mary Hill was so unwilling and smart
But cherry will part!

Oh, Mary Hill sure was tight with her cherry-filled part
Saying, "No"! Not anyone could pry legs apart
A wary lil' tart
Contrary lil' tart

And then one day, Mary Hill, she gave it away
I said, "Look, honey, I'm smart and funny"
And she said, "OK"
And as we lay, she lost all trace of shame
But since that day, can't satisfy dame
'Cause Mary Hill is now a hard-to-fill tart
Since cherry depart!

Oh, Mary Hill, day and night, tells me, "New thrill, impart"
Now, she can't get enough of the love-making art
A hard-to-fill tart
A very shrill tart
And oy, vay! My heart!
A very ill heart!
Soon burial, start
Yeah, bury old fart!
(A very old fart)
(A very old fart)
(repeat as he fades away)