It was the third of June, another sleepy type Mayberry Day
I was down at the theater, I saw Goober there, so I said "Hey"
It was dinnertime, so I stopped at the snack bar for a bite to eat
And Gomer ambled up beside me, he was lookin' for a little treat
And then he said, "I got some news this mornin' from Raleigh Ridge
Today Barney Fife, your deputy, jumped off the old Mt. Pilot bridge"

Ben Harper said to Howard as he passed around the Jujube's
"Well Barney Fife never had a lick o' sense. Pass the popcorn, please
There's five more aisles in my store I have to fill somehow"
And Aunt Bea said it was a shame about Barney Fife anyhow
"Seems like nothin' ever comes to no good up on Raleigh Ridge
And now Barney Fife, the deputy's, jumped off the old Mt. Pilot bridge"

And Ernest T., he recollected how me, Aunt Bea, and Barney Fife
We cleaned him up quite a bit and we helped him to look for a wife
"And wasn't I talkin' to him at the crick last friday night
I'll have another sip o' cherry coke...ya know, it don't seem right
I saw him at the diner yesterday up on Raleigh Ridge
And now ya tell me Barney Fife's jumped of the ol' Mt. Pilot Bridge"

And Aunt Bea said to me, "Now, what's happened to your appetite?
Well you bought yourself two corndogs and you haven't took a single bite
Your son, my nephew, Opie Taylor, stopped by today
Said that he'd prob'ly go fishin' on Sunday, oh, by the way
He said he saw a guy that looked a lot like you up on Raleigh Ridge
And him and Barney Fife was doin' somethin' on the old Mt. pilot bridge"

A year has come and gone since we heard the news 'bout Barney Fife
Thelma Lou moved to Vermont where she became another lawman's wife
Was some bad moonshine goin' 'round, Otis drank some, and he died last spring
And now the Darlings just don't seem to wanna sing much of anything
And me, I spend a lot of time writing tickets up on Raleigh Ridge
To people goin' past the limit drivin' on the old Mt. Pilot bridge