I was yearning for some laughs, paced so tight
When my pride was shelled on amIright
For the bombster flung his crap, he panned my prize
A sullen dweeb denied it fives

(It got the bash) It got the bombster bash
(The bombster bash) What was a brave bard's smash
(It got the bash) It got totally trashed
(It got the bash) It got the bombster bash

In the lavatory where the crass troll eats
There's a vast turd menu full of bombster treats
The fool hauled shame from his scummy commode
To sling his votes at my select ode

(He slung the trash) He slung the bombster trash
(The bombster trash) I saw my great art thrashed
(He slung the trash) I felt wan and abashed
(He slung the trash) He slung the bombster trash

The bombster was blasting ones
The smarting was not much fun
The pest was rude and loathsome
Smackin' the grandest puns

Obscene and shockin', small and piggish, this clown
Eager to maim, flack flies with braying sounds
The scoffin' anger of this lout full of jive
Rips the hopeful spoofs like slick, flickin' knives

(They dread the slash) They dread the bombster slash
(The bombster slash) It cuts a grave, scarred gash
(They dread the slash) It leaves clots and a rash
(They dread the slash) They dread the bombster slash

Bouts with this goblin can spoil one's zing
Dreams being scuttled by thrusts he slings
Here's hopin' the squid will soon just split
We'll say, "Whatever happened to that rankled, anal twit?"

(Ignore the bash) Ignore the bombster bash
(The bombster bash) 'Cause it's a lame fart's blast
(Ignore the bash) It's just nothin' but trash
(Ignore the bash) Ignore the bombster bash

Now rid of that ghoul, laughs are hearty at last
And the bombster bash is a thing of the past
Good news, thanksgiving, get smashed if you choose
If he comes back once more, belt a chorus of boos

(Then boo the bash) Then boo the bombster bash
(The bombster bash) And boo the knave's dark trash
(Then boo the bash) You'll get bombed and be brash
(Then boo the bash) Then boo the bombster bash

Nyaagh, bash, boo . . .