I was surfing on the web, late last night
tried to give myself an awful fright
clicked a link, and on my screen, a monster rose
he screamed at me, and the screen froze

and now I'm mad!
now I've gone Monster Mad
it's kinda sad
yes, it's really too bad
that I've gone mad
I cry for mom & dad!
'cause I've gone mad
been driven Monster Mad!

now I fear a gory death at jaws of beasts
I can't masturbate, can't find a moment's peace
the ghouls will come to my humble abode
to turn me to a rat, or a toad!

I'm going mad!
I'm going Monster Mad
it's kinda sad
yes, it's really too bad
I'm going mad!
I cry for mom & dad!
'cause I've gone mad
been driven Monster Mad!

The Blob has me on the run
the nightmare has just begun!
the beasts include boogie man
d@^^n it all, where's my gun?!

a scene from any horror movie around
really seems tame, compared to what I've found!
ol' Freddy Kreuger is about to arrive
and I really hope, I'll get out alive!

they make me mad!
they make me Monster Mad!
gone Monster Mad
it's really kinda sad
help! mom & dad!
and it's really too bad
that I've gone mad!
that I've gone Monster Mad!

after some coughin' a Vicks did help
so I continued to cry & yelp
who opened my door, when help was teased?
it was M. Night Schyamalan, coming to say "what a tweest!"

and now I'm mad!
and now I'm Monster Mad
gone Monster Mad
it's really kinda sad
yes, it's too bad
I cry for mom & dad!
'cause now I'm Mad!
'cause now I'm Monster Mad!

now, call me a fool, if it makes you feel grand
but just look outside, tell me who's on my land?
he isn't living, has chair for tanning
wait, that's not Frankenstein, it's just Peyton Manning!

and I've gone mad
yes, I've gone Monster Mad
completely mad
it really is too bad
that I've gone mad
I cry for mom & dad!
it's kinda sad
that I've gone Monster Mad!

"grunts" not good!
easy Kreuger, nightmare-haunting, clawed freak!
"grunts" not good! "grunting"

ah-ooh... Monster Mad!
ah-ooh... Monster Mad!
ah-ooh... Monster Mad!
ah-ooh... Monster Mad! (fade out...)