I was typing up a script, lacking plot
When I suddenly begat a thought
From a series that was dead, I'd cull reprise
It wrote itself, with shameless ease

Another M*A*S*H
A sort of AfterM*A*S*H
Another M*A*S*H
A blatant grab for cash
Another M*A*S*H
It belonged in the trash
Another M*A*S*H
A sort of AfterM*A*S*H

With the Korean War a pleasant memory
In a Midwest hamlet lived our hasbeens three
With Potter, Klinger, and Mulcahy too
Their antics were a flavorless stew

A sort of M*A*S*H
We called it AfterM*A*S*H
Another M*A*S*H
We thought we'd have a bash
At milking M*A*S*H
It caught on like a rash
Another M*A*S*H
We called it AfterM*A*S*H

This trio was just as fun
As wieners without a bun
The rest had chosen wisely
The other way all to run

Of big name actors, we were sorely bereft
Second-rate names were all that we had left
Civilian living made their characters worse
Even Klinger rolled without any purse

It wasn't M*A*S*H
No, it was AfterM*A*S*H
It wasn't M*A*S*H
It was a tired rehash
It wasn't M*A*S*H
It was canned in a flash
It wasn't M*A*S*H
No, it was AfterM*A*S*H

Out of Korea they were out of place
Gone were the choppers and frantic pace
While Radar the kid, and even B.J. too
Managed to score more laughs than this pathetic crew

Cause they were M*A*S*H
Cause they weren't AfterM*A*S*H
Yes, they were M*A*S*H
And they were kooky and brash
Cause they were M*A*S*H
Had their own kind of fash
Cause they were M*A*S*H
Cause they weren't AfterM*A*S*H

Now everything's done, Klinger's out of a job
Potter's in a home and Mulcahy's a slob
For you, the viewer, this show was a test
When the Reaper shows up, tell him thanks for the rest

From pseudo M*A*S*H
From watching AfterM*A*S*H
From dodgy M*A*S*H
It was a ratings crash
From fakey M*A*S*H
Creepy cultural clash
From crappy M*A*S*H
From watching AfterM*A*S*H

Wah-ooh, AfterM*A*S*H, wah-ooh
Easy, Mildred, Sherman's getting annoyed
Arr, horse hockey, grr
AfterM*A*S*H, wah-ooh, AfterM*A*S*H, wah-ooh