My girl won't lie with me
A twirl: deny to me
So, hurl "Goodbye" from me
I'm leaving you
Found something new

Love pangs are strong for me
This thing: it longs for thee
Night: bare her thong? Not she!
No fuzz? I'm schmoozing ewe!

Don't need ... no K-Y lotion™
Lan-o- -lin: lamb's love potion   [1]
Wedding day: "took" my bride   [2]
Things began to change
Now, I get "strange"   [3]
From "babe" in manger!

Some "hon"! -- A scolding shrew!
Baring her "lips"? Won't do!
I get no beave; balls blue
So I am floozing ewe!

No love? A dour "cool" night
Now steeped in just some Woolite™
Went one day, brain half-fried
To the ranching range
With ewe, I came. Effect? Life-changer!

Won't unzip fly, 'spite plea
Needs, locked-out guy: "new key"
My chrome's: X-Y make me --   [4]
-- Go find lamb; oozing: ewe

[interlewed: Coda da ranch]

No cleave? I leave! Grieve, you
'Cause I am schmoozing ewe




[1] Would not stoop to reusing line "Lamb's lanolin lubes lecher's larks", from this writer's "American Pie" parody, "A Shepherd Am I".

[2] "Took" in both senses ... naah, everybody gets it.

[3] Some Gyno-Americans ("Ladies") may have to ask the menfolk about the second meaning of "strange". :-D



IF YOU'RE IN A HURRY TO START THE WEEKEND AND GET WASTED, OR ALREADY ARE, STOP HERE AND SKIP TO V/C!

[4] (Greatly simplified, and no condescension intended toward the cognoscenti) Human females have two gender-determining chromosomes, both X's (XX) Males have an X and a Y chromosome, which is what makes them male; hence, this line.

FUN FACTS:
Since one can't pass on what one doesn't have, women can pass only X chromosomes, so in fact, it is the father's "contribution" that determines the gender of the baby. King Henry VIII, and all other males who have their wives executed (or whatever) for "failing" to bear sons, should "blame" themselves.

FUN, BUT LONG-HUSHED-UP, FACT:
A study a while back showed that if the female climaxed shortly before, simultaneously with, or very quickly after the male, the chance of a male child was significantly increased. The cause was apparently that changes in the pH (acidity level) of the cervicovaginal canal accompanying climax favored Y-bearing sperm over X-carriers. Females who rarely climax, or do so much later than the male, were found to be more likely to bear girls. (A later study, attempting to correlate female climax with likelihood of pregnancy, has been widely disputed.)

So if you see some guy with six daughters and no sons, you can smirk smugly at him, his wife, or both -- assuming that *you* have the right to. :-D ... Which makes King Hal and the Anglican split from the Roman Catholic Church all a result of his ineptness, his premature congratulation, or the strict morality imposed on women. ... This study result got dropped very quickly, due to the obvious judgmental implications, as did another that showed that migraine headaches could be prevented by .. .but that's a topic for another parody, *maybe*. ;)

TT might, or might not, have something more to say on this acidity business, if the parodic ideas pending should come to "fruition", so to speak. ... Alright, alright, I lied about "no geek stuff". But hey, TT can't help it - his *genetics* made him the strange creature that he is.... ;-D