I specialize in empty boasts and put downs,
I've never had to earn the things I've got
Because my parents never put their foot down
As parents ought...
Twenty-sixteen, the eighth day of November
I conned my way into my highest slot
Cause suckers couldn't bother to remember...
I scam a lot

Scam a lot, scam a lot...
Who ever thought I'd get this far?
But I scam a lot, scam a lot -
I'm twelve strokes under par!

The White House is my northern Mar-A-Lago:
Defy me, and you're fired on the spot!
So I've imposed a Bannon-Barr embargo -
I've canned a lot!
My dearest love is always here beside me
(Though Jared thinks she's his, she's really not)
She reassures me, when smart men deride me,
That I'm a god!

I'm a god! I'm a god!
Who says the emperor's undressed?
If he scams a lot, scams a lot,
Enablers do the rest!

Melania's my third wife and First Lady
(Despite her scowls, she likes me quite a lot)
She suits me cause she's pretty - pretty shady!
She's scams a lot...
I helped her scheme and scam to get a visa
(I thought her soft core porn was kinda hot)
Now that we're wed, she's as coy as Mona Lisa -
She calls the shots...

Scam a lot, scam a lot
Each time I marry, it's bizarre...
But they're shams a lot, shams a lot -
Just ended mine to Barr...

But now, alas, the curtain's set to come down
On us, your "Hack" and "Tacky Frenemy";
Despite the Russian bots,
I've somehow lost the plot...
But til I'm bound and shackled,
I'll just leer and scam a lot!