With intent and a dirty streak
Walked to machine, speedy feet
Inside it's long and full of heat
And yes, we're quivering some....
Idolise of your sweet face
So hot temperatures race
My balls might crack me into space
If I don't get me some...

Now I'm at the dispenser
Ah ah ah
I've got to get condoms...

It's pressed hard, exhaustion past
Gaze now at my swollen mass
I'll be complete with you my lass
Fumbles can't be wrong
Set me free Mother! Swear!
Expletives meet the air
The pain is more than I can bear...
Now I'm going numb

It's jammed in the dispenser
Owh owh owh
Only wanted some condoms

Twirly!? Look, the skins gone in!
God this trouble is a sin
I'm worried sandwiched in this tin
So splayed, my knob is numb
I played, this machine cant be beat
Caught out like a one armed bandit
Can't walk at all along the street
Please call nine one one

I'm rammed in the dispenser
Owh owh owh
Only wanted a condom

With intent and a dirty streak
Walked to machine with speedy feet
Inside was long and full of heat
And yes I'm quivering some...
So darling don't you shed those tears
Take away those household shears
Your abandonment and mammaries
Remind my flattened one...

I'm jammed in the dispenser
Owh owh owh
Only want of my freedom.....