Song Parodies -> "He Scared the Nieces"

Original Song Title:

"I Go to Pieces"

Original Performer:

"He Scared the Nieces"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Bernard came back. My evil twin brother. He hadn't shown his goateed face around here since last September, when his beloved Mets fell harder than his beloved George W. Bush's approval rating. I knew he'd come back, it was just a matter of when, and how, and how offensive he'd be when he did. But this time he's gone too far! He showed up at our sister's place and he frightened the twins! Made them cry! I know, they're only eight months old, but that's no excuse! How dare he! (Please note: Bernard is a fictional character, who I made up for the parody "My Evil Twin, Naturally." I recommend looking that one up before reading this one. I don't actually have a brother. I do have a sister, and her daughters are the only twins in the history of the family, as far as we can determine.)

When we pushed the carriage down the street
came the uncle they should never meet.
I hoped their eyes would look the other way.
But Bernard scared them today.

And he
scared the nieces and they wailed and cried.
Scared the nieces, this I can't abide.
Yes, this time, went too far -- Say goodbye!

I tell Bernard, "What the hell'd you do?"
He said, "They're not related just to you.
They are babies, they'll get over it.
The two of you should not be in this snit."

But he
scared the nieces and they wailed and cried.
Scared the nieces, this I can't abide.
Yes, this time, went too far -- Say goodbye!

I remember what she said, their mother said
"Goodbye, Mister!"
But then I told our sister:
"It should not be you, I should be the one, it's true.
I've dealt with him for longer, and my anger at him's stronger!"

We'll find a place and there, well, down we'll throw.
But I wonder if he will show.
He's hurt me so much inside.
I won't rest until he's died.

Because he
scared the nieces and they wailed and cried.
Scared the nieces, this I can't abide.
Yes, this time, went too far -- Say goodbye!

Scared the nieces and they cried!
Scared the nieces, this I can't abide!
Yes, this time, went too far! Say goodbye!

There's gonna be a showdown. And only one of us can be allowed to survive. This world's not big enough for the both of us. Who will win? Will it be me? Or will it be... him? Tune in next time! (Cue the creepy music!)

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