Hell, I can justify... any torture that goes down.
Because I am the Czar, and so powerful is my crown.
I'm pissed off I've hit bottom, and my low polls are to blame.
I'm bugged and I'm teased by... traitors; they're all the same.
They call me The Torturer... yeah, The Torturer...
I'll have you bound and sent around...

Yes, Al Gonzalez said "no harm" and Dick Cheney says I'm right.
Sweet Condi's my girl; she defends my right-by-might.
Iraq War tasks me, but Rummy is the best...
To tear open your shirt, put electrodes on your chest.
'Cause I'm The Torturer... yeah, The Torturer...
I'll have you bound and sent around...

Oh, hell, I didn't earn my crown.
I went through life without a care.
And I'm happy as a clown.
Rule with my two fists of iron,
And through bombs I'm raining down...

Oh, yeah, I can justify and torture that goes down.
All kinds of secret places for rendition, not found.
Investigations I'm stallin,' flags unfurled;
They can't touch me, 'cause I'm divine, made war around the world.
'Cause I'm The Torturer... yeah, The Torturer...
I'll have you bound and sent around...

Oh, yeah, I can justify and torture that goes down.
All kinds of secret places for rendition, not found.
Investigations I'm stallin,' flags unfurled;
They can't touch me, 'cause I'm divine, made war around the world.
'Cause I'm The Torturer... yeah, The Torturer...
I'll have you bound and sent around...

(repeat last verse and fade)