There’s a story, by a writer new
About a girl who she thinks is cool
The girl’s above everyone else around
She’s crushed on by all canon guys in town

Hey, hey
Whoa hey, hey
Whoa, hey hey
Whoa, hey
La la la

Yeah, you can see from a story’s very start
The canon guy’s got a yearning heart
But yet all the girls wanna be like her too
That’s how you spot an evil Mary Sue

Yeah, she has the world’s most beautiful face
Of any flaws or blemishes there is no trace
Her eyes are an unnatural shade of blue
That’s how you spot an evil Mary Sue

Hey, hey
Whoa hey, hey
Whoa, hey hey
Whoa, hey

Secrets and drama abound, yeah
She’s had a tragic past that becomes renowned
It shows in her color-changing eyes
Yet she still goes, out with all the canon guys

Here’s the moral of the story that the newbie must know
You write a Sue and your naïveté shows
You give a character the same name as you
Readers will say-a
I can’t stand another evil Mary Sue

She’s not interesting at all
Yeah, stop writing this girl
No one wants to read about you
Don’t write another Sue

Secrets and drama abound, yeah
She’s had a tragic past that becomes renowned
It shows in her color-changing eyes
Yet she still goes, out with all the canon guys

Here’s the moral of the story that the newbie must know
You write a Sue and your naïveté shows
You give a character the same name as you
Readers will say-a
I can’t stand another evil Mary Sue
Yeah
Stop writing this girl
No one cares what she’ll do
Whoa
Whoa