Song Parodies -> "John Kerry, The Panderer"

Original Song Title:

"The Wanderer"

Original Performer:

Dion & The Belmonts

Parody Song Title:

"John Kerry, The Panderer"

Parody Written by:

Kelly Davies

The Lyrics

Well I'm the type of guy who will never settle down
Where fickle votes are you will know that I'm in town
I schmooz 'em and I woo 'em 'cause to me they're all the same
I fill 'em up with bullshit and tell 'em - GW Bush is to blame
They call me the panderer - yeah -the panderer
I waffle round around around around

Oh well there's Johnny on my left arm and there's Mary in our sights
And when we go on the stumps, we'll mention her tonight
And when Teresa talks trashy to the people in the west
I'll just point to the initials on my family crest
'Cause I'm the panderer - yeah -the panderer
I waffle round around around around around

Oh, well I roam from town to town
I mention God now 'cuz I'm scared
I get more nasty when I'm down
With my Senate record of liberalism I've got reason to frown

Oh yeah, I'm the type of guy that likes to rat on Vets
I diss 'em and I flaunt 'em and I kick 'em when they're down
When I can't hack Nam's heat - I shoot myself in the arm
To get medals - good for mileage - in Washington D.C.
Because I'm the panderer - yeah -the panderer
I waffle round around around around around

Oh yeah, I'm the type of guy that likes to flip around
I'm really not a hunter and I vote for animal rights
I say I love the environment but vote those windmills down
I hope that no one checks - my record shouldn't come to light
Because I'm the panderer - yeah -the panderer
I waffle round around around around around
Because I'm the panderer - yeah -the panderer
I waffle round around around around around
Because I'm the panderer - yeah -the panderer

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Phil Alexander - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment

First two verses were excellent, last two were losing rhyme and meter... you need to keep that bile in check and concentrate on the parody ;-)

Guy - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment

Have to agree with Phil, but I really liked this parody and the idea. 4,5,5.

Johnny D - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment

Not bad, free speech with major bile.

Adagio - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment

I really enjoyed this one! 5's

John Barry - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment

Great title, and I agree with Phil--first two verses are stronger.

Michael Pacholek - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment

Pacing poor, not funny, and not the slightest bit true. Your taxes are not only getting raised next year, they're getting audited.

Inferno714 - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment

I don't know the song, so I didn't vote, but I like the fact that you are making fun of John Kerry.

DP - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment

Also 4,5,5. Pacholek either works for the IRS or is a Kerry campaign Mole ("not the *slightest bit* true"? come on!)- plus he presumptiously assumes you make over $200K a year.

Royce Miller - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment

Good parody!

Royce Miller - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment

Oh by the way Phil and Johnny, are you two the bile police now?

John Jenkins - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment

DP, I think Mr. Pacholek knows that if Kerry somehow gets elected, he will try to increase more taxes than just income taxes on those earning > $200K.

Good parody, but the next to last verse needs some rhyming.

me - September 01, 2008 - Report this comment

well its 2008 ..ya gonna apply it to maccain now?

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