Wait hungry and pacing for rations I asked him to buy
My reminder I drew up this morn and attached to his tie
I planned to watch Oprah while dicing and coring
And heat up some chops butterflied
Now so mystified, cross and sullen - it's 7:09
Hey, just what's the matter, I'm chilly and sober and thrown
No respect for text I did phone
To remember the cantaloupe

Sit moping and sighing - my husband, the lout, sure would fry
As his wife, I was fretting - the flake, he refused to arrive
Scum laden crock pot lay half full and drying
Befuddled, I set out to drive
So vexed I was screaming, my plan was to skin him alive
Hey, what's with the traffic, I'm swerving all over the road
So my reckless Lexus will go
To dismember the man I loathe

This furious dame flew to rattle her hubby and shout
But found only sinful rogues where the strumpets hung out
Tear drops drizzled, snarling and crying
At the jerks on aisle number three
Sure inclined to harass and prolong this misery spree
Hey, stuff their bananas with chiles that smolder and glow
So the restless sexhounds will know
To remember the cantaloupe
Yeah, remember the cantaloupe