Song Parodies -> "I Can't Hump Myself"

Original Song Title:

"I Can't Help Myself"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"I Can't Hump Myself"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

I've been actually told to do this many times...

Only I, love a bunch
Yes, I try to love me
I can't hump myself
And neither does anyone else
"In and out" I wish
To come and to grow
Savoring a picture of me
Yes, I kissed it a thousand three

When I use my fingers
On my brown eye
I find I don't have enough
To reach around corners
All this bending just won't do
Oh, Bugger!

Only I, love a bunch
I'm shorter than a man should be
I can't hump myself
For my tool is inches, three

When you told me words so angry
Said I should do me
And I've tried
But every time I probe "that place"
Something big gets stuck inside

When I call my own name, "Fred"
It seems so lame, answered with a fart
Grabbing the wrong part
No matter how I try
I don't believe the lie

Only I, love a bunch
I am such a geek, it's true
I can't hump myself
And neither does anyone else

Only I, feel the crunch
I'll do anything I ask me to do
I can't hump myself
What I'm doing is making welts

Only I, love a bunch
Yes, I tried to love me
I can't hump myself

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User Comments

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Johnny D - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment

No Olympic Gymnastics Gold Medal in the Men's All-Around for you, just some Amiright 5's.

alvin rhodes - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment

i give you fives and condolences

raddog20002002 - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment

I know that you have been told to do this parody, but would you like to see my parody "Girl In A Ball Gown" at whatfreaks.com? I assume it's a bit similar to the parody you just wrote.

Michael Pacholek - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment

What is this "I can't"? I have faith in you, Rick!

Dee Range - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment

Sorry to hear about your "shortcomings" lol. Very funny, 555

Meriadoc - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment

Wonderfully sick, Rick! :-D

Johnny D - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment

Reminds me of a Saturday Night Live sketch in which Toby McGuire (Spider-Man) played a yoga instructor and Will Ferrell played one of the students in his yoga class...and during the class Will finally succeeded in bending far enough forward to do himself, and then all the other students started asking the teacher to teach them how to do that, too. Like the Stooge Curly once said, "Certainly! If at first you don't succeed, keep on suckin' till you do succeed."

Troy - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment

Hahahahahaha this bloke must be a knobjockey and a knobjockey trainer in one, either that or you must be referring to John Hopoate practicing before a game!!! All 5s!!!!!

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