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Song Parodies -> "Can't Break My Tiles In Two"
Original Song Title:
"Can't Take My Eyes Off You"
Original Performer:
Frankie Valli
Parody Song Title:
"Can't Break My Tiles In Two"
Parody Written by:
Stuart McArthur
The Lyrics
At a certain point in his kung fu training, grasshopper approaches master sensei with troubles on his mind............ Original Song here
I'm just no good at kung fu
can't break my ti-les in two
I guess I don't have the touch
I wanna break 'em so much
those darn tiles think they're so tough
but my hand's NOT sharp enough
because whatever I do
I just can't break them in two
okay I noticed you stare-
-ing at this headband I wear
it's like Karate Kid's, see
I just re-hired the movie
and although YOU might well scoff
I've mastered "wipe on / wipe off"
which sadly don't translate to
breaking these tiles for you
I've tried hand lo - tion
(though mostly calomine)
I've tried slow mo - tion
like David Carradine
I get emo - tional
'bout my girlie display
Please sensei, let me
try hitting softer tiles
my wife she bet me
karate's not my style
she won't respect me
if the tiles get their way
I can't believe that kung fu's
so frickin painful to do
coz when I look at Bruce Lee
he makes it seem so easy
he always wins all his fights
and comes across oh so wise
I'm sure that I would be too
if I could break these in two
I'm more depressed - than
I think I've ever felt
coz I'm still less - than
a dumb magenta belt
You keep suggest - in'
I try origam - i
I'd throw the towel in
if it were not my dream
to be a Shao Lin
in that cool Shao Lin scene
up on that mountain
practising my tai chi
So sensei PLEASE bring
me a few pre-cracked tiles
It isn't cheating
if it aint on your files...
(If I could break one tile, I promise I'll leave......)
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 18 | 18 | 18 |
User Comments
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HI-YAH!!!!!
This broke me up.
That was awesome! 5s
had me gigglin'
Well done, Grasshopper!
Clever, but better to wear a prayer shawl and a yarmulke.
Funny!!!!!!!!! Now come and help me with my floor tiles! 555
Many smiles in these tiles...this floored me
thanks Matthias, JAB, Jack, alvin, MasonR, 2Eagle, Jason and AFW
You think trying to break tiles is tough, try fighting a pig that knows karate. One pork ch op and I was on the ground. Ouch! 5's
Try using a sledgehammer: that's what I did when we remodeled the bathroom years ago. I guess that would be considering cheating though. "to be a Shao Lin
in that cool Shao Lin scene" cracked me up. Nice references to KK as well. "rehired"? is that the same as "rerented"? 5s
Kick! Biff! Punch! Chop! Scythe! Own! Stewart does it all and marvelously... perfect pacing and quirky humor bringing a tile to everyone's lips!
Clever title and parody, particularly the substitions and conclusion.
Loved the magenta belt line! ;-D
lol Lionel (groan)
thanks Jack - don't you guys use "re-hired"? you do have the word "hire" don't you?
thanks TJC and JJ and Meriadoc (I would have guessed you would have liked that line Merry :-))
thanks Jack - don't you guys use "re-hired"? you do have the word "hire" don't you?
thanks TJC and JJ and Meriadoc (I would have guessed you would have liked that line Merry :-))
Of course we have "hire" here, lol! "Rehire(d)", here, would mean to employ someone who used to work for you. "Rerent(ed)" would be to get a movie you have rented before, or to provide a place of living for a former tenant (although with the latter, it would be more like "I rented to Stu again. I decided he was okay after all." =)).
Who knew the English language was so complicated? Everybody? That's what I thought... ;)
Who knew the English language was so complicated? Everybody? That's what I thought... ;)
Wonderful fun, grasshopper! And to one of my "guilty pleasures" OSes as well....but you are a bit of a wimp, aintcha? ;-) 555
I laughed
(ABC4) Funny...the syllable stretching in certain lines bugged me, though.
(ABC4) Remember, young Grasshopper, when one tries to break the tile, take these 5's and think 'There is no tile, but there is 5'.
(ABC4) It was good, but I must say I have read better by you--but then again, that's not really a fair comment considering the quality of your work
(ABC) Heh, reminds me of when I once attempted martial arts and could never even do a forward roll. Great job.
ABC4- Good work, Stu. Now maybe you can graduate to blocks of ice!
Well, I was going to suggest starting with paper, or wet leaves, or... :) Well done!
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