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Song Parodies -> "F*** My Old Lady Tonight"

Original Song Title:

"Luck Be A Lady Tonight"

Original Performer:

Frank Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"F*** My Old Lady Tonight"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

This is REALLY not about the happily married Old Man Ribber! But...I do admit the title came to me on a karaoke session when I was performing the original. I doubt if I'll ever perform this in public...Old Lady Ribber has eyes and ears everywhere! ;D


(Slowly, with feeling)
My wife says "Do not drink - if you go out tonight!
If you go boozin' then you'll be choosin' to start an awful fight!"
I've heard this all before. It's been a rotten day,
And 'though it's risky I'm feeling frisky so I am gonna play!
I've downed a few already - although I know I'll pay -
Just pour this man another as I say:


(Big band swing!)
F*** my old lady tonight! F*** my old lady tonight!
I'm on a bender, I don't care if I offend her.
F*** my old lady tonight!

F***, I don't get out that much. I never fight, brawl, or such.
No more deep thinkin' - what I need to be is drinkin'.
Give me my sixty proof crutch!

'Though I'm hard-working and kind-hearted
Sometimes I croon in a saloon.
I'll join my boist'rous buddies. We'll throw down some shots
And then we'll all howl at the moon!

So, 'though the danger's not slight - I'll make no premature flight.
Past one I'm stayin' - 'though the price I will be payin'.
F*** my old lady tonight!


(Magnificent big band swing break)


I don't ask much, don't you see? Drink and sing karaoke.
They'll be some jokin' and a couple packs for smokin'.
F***, I just might stay 'til three.

I never blow a lot of money
We pay the bills - there are no ills.
Just now and then I get a little footloose and free
With besotted cheap music thrills.

If I get high as a kite, I know tomorrow will bite.
If trouble's brewing - tonight I know what I'm doing.
F*** my old lady!
So said Slim Shady!
F*** my old lady - tonight!



;D

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Lotta Luck - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Fantastically, Rat-Packingly, Old Blue Ball himselfishly funny... you, you flirty Old Man !
Phil Alexander - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
And here was me thinking that you were asking for volunteers... :-)
AFW - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm sure it passed the censor because it was meant as an insult, and not a request, like Phil mentioned...Funny write,
< ! ! ! > - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
! ! !
Tommy Turtle - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Fives on the title! Now I'm gonna read it...
Tommy Turtle - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Good job, although perhaps some other subs could have been worked in besides the singe F- one. Works perfectly in the title, as noted above, but not a fan of overuse of that word, and am a fan of varying refrain lines, etc. Still, monstrously clever concept, so voted you F*** F*** F***.

@ Phil Alexander: My first thought, too! Dirty minds run in the same gutter....
Old Man Ribber - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
I bow, Shellback! True, but not too many words rhyme with luck. One thing I take pride in (brought to my attention by our friend Barry Mitchell) is the rhyme-within-the-line. Perhaps this will become my trademark! ;D
John Barry - August 04, 2010 - Report this comment
15 *'s.
Shellback Back At Ya - August 04, 2010 - Report this comment
It's called "internal rhyming"; it's been a part of poetry and song for at least a few hundred years (no offense to Barry), and before you trademark it, please see
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertsullivan91.shtml
and
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertsullivan63.shtml
as well as the ones you've already v/c'd, "I Am A Merry Maiden... " and "I Am Binary-Modal..."

Barry Mitchell didn't invent it, TT didn't invent it (thought you recognized it when you v/c'd those TT songs above), and many other writers here make good use of it at times.

Certainly a worthwhile goal for which to strive, though, so if you can do it with any consistency, without resistancy or assistance, see, I insist that thee do so. :)

btw, don't tell a soul that I told you this, but this Friday's offering should provide some, uh, "further examples" of said internal rhyming, :-D

There were four other rhymes for your word in the interlude of today's "Would You Kindly Hush?" Others, without even looking at a dictionary: buck, cluck, chuck, duck, Huck (Finn), C'nuck (no offense, Northern Neighbors), knuck(le -- you have to continue with that), puck, pluck, ruck (sack), shuck, snuck (slang; "sneaked" is correct, but "snuck" is widely used in informal con\conversation), tuck. truck....

And that was *without* a (rhyming) dictionary, and it's late, I'm tired, and about to hit the suck - er, sack. (Gives OMR swift kick in rear,) Donna' be'a so lazy, eh? :-D :) :) :)

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