What's that stuff I smell here?
What makes the old men cheer?
What scent do young folks fear?
It's Old Spice.
What fragrance is so far from mild?
What bouquet never has beguiled?
What's given from each first grandchild's birth?

Must be Old Spice!
Makes geezers smell nice!
Goes with stiff ear hairs and pot-belly girth.
The odor's overpowering.
It smells like nothing flowering.
It's not a gift of towering worth.

'Though good for an old bloke,
It makes most people choke.
It's good for lots of joke - and mirth.


(Instrumental break - return at bridge)


That wicked Old Spice!
Please take my ad-vice:
If you're still young - give it a wide berth!
It's name rolls eas'ly off the tongue.
It's jingle tune is rarely sung.
It reminds folks of 'roo dung in Perth!

It makes the nostrils sting.
It starts eyes watering.
It smells like not one thing - on Earth!