Would you like to be hit by a car
Carry your teeth back home in a jar
and be a lot worse off than you are
or would you rather be a grass

A grass is an animal with plenty of fears
he kicks up at anything he hears
His brain is brawny and his backbone is weak
he's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
and by the way if you hate to go to mass
You may grow up to be a grass

Would you like to be hit by a car
Carry your teeth back home in a jar
and be worse off than you are
or would you rather be a pig

A pig is an animal, they're all swine
His shoes have a gleaming clean shine
But he has no manners when he eats his food
And he'd nick his mother if he was in the mood
So, if you really don't give a fig
you may grow up to be a pig

Oh would you like to be hit by a car
Carry your teeth back home in a jar
and be worse off than you are
or would you rather be a snake

A snake is slippery and slithers about
He'll settle nowhere, be in no doubt
to fool the people is his only thought
and though he's slippery he still gets caught
but if then that sort of life is what you make
you may grow up to be a snake
(music)
a bad kind of jumped up slippery snake

And all the g'rillas aren't in the zoo
everyday you'll see a few
so then, it's all up to you,
you could be better than you are
and you could be drinking in the bar