When W. George Bush came to town
The votin' folk would hide
They'd hide
When autumn's elections came around
They tried then to decide
Because the drop of a bomb
Was the only law that W. understood
When it came to lying
Out his ass
He was mighty good

From out of the South a Gov'nor came
Punch ballot in his hand
A man
The kind of a man dumb George would need
To triumph in this land
'Cause a butterfly card
And some hanging chad was what Jeb Bush understood
When it came to counting
Ballots cast
He did what he would

Many old farts would cast their vote
And many a chad not fall
The man who swapped liberty's ballots
He slopped liberty's ballots
He put his brother in the Mall [1]

The bore named Al Gore can make a man
Stay home when he should vote
Stay home
Just trying to stay awake a while --
Al Gore does not emote

But a family tie was the only law
The Governor understood
When it came to counting
Votes amassed
He did what he could

For two or three weeks, we prayed the Court
Would end that stupid fight
Ahh, that fight
When nothing, it seemed, could help
Us ever knowing who was right
From the moment a man into campaign goes
The very first thing he learns
When two men go out to face each other,
One back home returns

Everyone heard the news ring out
Mistakes made: news channels, all [2]
The man who chopped liberty's ballots
He cropped liberty's ballots
He got to make the fateful call

The man who copped liberty's ballots
He lopped liberty's ballots
He put his Bro above us all


[1] The White House is actually somewhat north of the National Mall in Washington, D. C., but I thought that the text given here made a good parody line. Determining the exact distance is difficult, because satellite photos of the White House and the Capitol building have been altered by the CIA, so that bad people won't be able to find these buildings. Hah! Take that, bad people!

[2] All of the major news channels mistakenly called the election for Gore well before all the results were in, then retracted and said it was too close to call, then called it for Bush, then retracted and said it was too close to call. They got it right on that fourth try. Some felt that calling the election for Gore while many, especially in later time zones, had yet to vote, indicated improper bias and attempted influence on their part. To both Democrats and Republicans: A pox on both your houses!