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Song Parodies -> "Wimbledon Linesman"
Original Song Title:
"Wichita Lineman"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Glen Campbell
Parody Song Title:
"Wimbledon Linesman"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
Now that we're into the second week at Wimbledon, I thought I'd clue you in to what really happens behind the scenes....
I am a linesman at the tennis, and my line of sight's clear
Starin' at that Miss Sharapova's lovely rear
I covet one or two desires; Williams gals ménage a trois
With this Wimbledon linesman in his hatchback car
I head on home to my dog Lendl, once the day's play's complete
And I dream of licking strawberries and cream off Lindsay's* feet
And I see them grunting, sweating, as their skirts lift in the breeze
And this Wimbledon linesman shouts out "new balls, please!"
I know fifteen-love's illegal, but I love the way they tease
As this Wimbledon linesman shouts out "new balls, please!"
Starin' at that Miss Sharapova's lovely rear
I covet one or two desires; Williams gals ménage a trois
With this Wimbledon linesman in his hatchback car
I head on home to my dog Lendl, once the day's play's complete
And I dream of licking strawberries and cream off Lindsay's* feet
And I see them grunting, sweating, as their skirts lift in the breeze
And this Wimbledon linesman shouts out "new balls, please!"
I know fifteen-love's illegal, but I love the way they tease
As this Wimbledon linesman shouts out "new balls, please!"
* Davenport
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 13 | 14 | 14 |
User Comments
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Great title and idea..maybe a little edgy pacing, here and there..but fives for ya'
Advantage Kristof. Game. Set. Snatch. I mean Match.
FIFTEEN...cause i LOVE it
What, I didn't know "Aqualung" (the one from the Jethro Tull song) was now a Wimbledon lines judge.
Lobbing some 5s your way. I can just picture the Williams gals in a hatchback!
Great idea, funny stuff.
You get 3 sets of 5's. Did McEnroe ever yell at you?
AFW: Thanks, dude...I had to rely on sketchy memory of the tune and a lyric sheet.
JD: hurhurhurhur...
Alvin: *groan* ;-) Thanks, mate
Paul: Not being a Tull fan, you'll have to explain you're reference, buddy!
Rick: So can I, mate...it's a bit of a scary-a** picture!
Leo: Cheers, pal!
Steve: He's here at the moment. Since I'm only 5 minutes from Wimbledon, I'm hoping to catch him for a pint in the pub. ;-)
JD: hurhurhurhur...
Alvin: *groan* ;-) Thanks, mate
Paul: Not being a Tull fan, you'll have to explain you're reference, buddy!
Rick: So can I, mate...it's a bit of a scary-a** picture!
Leo: Cheers, pal!
Steve: He's here at the moment. Since I'm only 5 minutes from Wimbledon, I'm hoping to catch him for a pint in the pub. ;-)
Kristof - "Aqualung" (in the album of same name) is an old, degenerate (possibly homeless) man whose main amusement seems to be leering at little girls ("Watching as the pretty panties run")- the album is mostly about him - and how society perceives and treats him...I found it a very thought-provoking work when I first heard it (1970)...and it probably still is...
I think Jimmy Webb would get a kick out of it; I know I did.
Have you been snorting those white lines and the grass again Kristof?
Fifteen-love may be illegal...unless you're King Of The Ho's. Share the Sharapove sentiment...love a menage with her, Anna Kournholakova, and me, with a weeks worth of Cialis. High 5's mate
Tennis? What do Australians know about tennis? (Uh-oh, I'm gonna have to leave a big honkin' tip on my next visit to Outback Steakhouse.) This parody was like Bjorn Borg: Resistance is futile. (Wonder if that'll inspire somebody to write one?)So, how exactly are you going to get yourself and both Williams sisters in a hatchback? Especially with Serena's own bodacious hatchback? Actually, I think a lot of men hate Maria Sharapova. By winning Wimbledon at 17, she exposed Anna Kournikova for the fraud that she was and is.
Short, but there is certainly enough there to set the imagination running. And I suppose you should be commended for not using the obvious Kournikova fantasies and using Lindsay Davenport instead.
A threesome with the Williamses is physically impossible - beds only go to King Size - although rolling out a mat in a gym would work - fantastic funny idea, Kristof, but why did you have to put Lindsay in there? - 555
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