Song Parodies -> "Pope Has Got A Brand New Tag"

Original Song Title:

"Papa's Got A Brand New Bag"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Pope Has Got A Brand New Tag"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Dedicated to Tom Lehrer, whose "Vatican Rag" remains the pinnacle of irreverence. Unless you count Claude Prez' religion songs, too, which for me pretty much share the pinnacle.

Now it's a fact
Smoke is white, not black
He's Benedict
And I hear he's kinda strict
He ain't no fag
Pope has got a brand new tag

Card'nals took votes
And they were cooped-up boys
They took no chances
But he sure can sprecken Deutsch
The dude can't shag
Pope has got a brand new tag

He's preachin' his preach...
He's doin' his Mass
Don't question him
'Cause you know he kicks ass

Reviewin' the schisms,
The catechisms,
Takes no flack,
Theologian's
Got no Trojans

Women, no chance
Pope won't change his stance
You can't be priests now
You must respect His Fancy Pants
He hates those fags
He's got a brand new tag

Il Papa! He's seventy-eight!
Papa! He's celi-BATE!
He's twiddlin' beads
On his knees,
He's prayin' his prays
Ev'ry night and ev'ry day
His Grace
Puts you in your place!

Pray!...come on
Pray, pray!...come on
Pray, pray!...Pope's up tight...out of sight...
Come on! Pray, pray!

©Bob "Going Straight To Hell" Gomez 2005

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Johnny D - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment

You WACKY Catholic boy! ;-)

Claude Prez - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment

Whoa, I don't know which made me laugh louder-- the "Theologians got no Trojans" line, or the "Tom Lehrer and Claude Prez in the same paragraph" line. Hilarious stuff, Bob.

Bob Gomez - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment

JD: Catholic I am not, but thanks for the compliment anyway. I don't know how a Catholic could be any wackier than yourself. Congrats on the new guy at the Vat, I hope he's a man of peace as his namechoice would indicate.

Agrimorfee - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment

In his honor, I'm gonna get drunk on Benedictine wine tonight. This song gives new meaning to 'Godfather of Soul'! 555

alvin rhodes - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment

a funky pope song ! ...i love it...5s plus

Bob Gomez - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment

C4P: Glad you enjoyed the song and the comparison to Tom Lehrer, which I must insist is a valid one.

Rod Worden - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment

I agree, no shieks with that bunch! Good job, Bob! (Hey a rhyme..) 555

Michael Pacholek - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment

Best new-Pope song, best new-Pope title. I'm glad nobody tried to do anything with Chuck Berry's "Sweet Little Sixteen." Or Michael Jackson's "Ben." With those two performers (Chuck with the Mann Act, Michael for obvious reasons), and the Church's current biggest problem, both would be walking a very thin line -- even if "Ben" was about a rat zinger.

Kristof Robertson - April 21, 2005 - Report this comment

" He's celi-BATE!"...priceless. 555

Rick C - April 21, 2005 - Report this comment

Let me join the masses in singing praises to this parody....555

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