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Song Parodies -> "A Little Bit of Juice"
Original Song Title:
"A Little Bit o' Soap"
Original Performer:
Jarmels
Parody Song Title:
"A Little Bit of Juice"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
I tried "A Little Bit of Clear" to "A Little Bitty Tear" by Burl Ives... "The Clear": A form of steroid used by baseball players, including Jason Giambi... but this one, to one of the all-time doo-wop classics, worked better, mainly because I already knew the lyrics. And no, I'm not talking about the stuff that named Tampa Bay's Tropicana Field and Houston's Minute Maid Park. Yankee broadcaster John Sterling: "You know, Charlie, I understand that, at Minute Maid Park, the balls are juiced." Then-partner Charlie Steiner: "Ah, that's just pulp fiction."
A little bit of juice will help me hit
a fastball over the fence.
But a little bit of juice will never
heal the rift with all my friends.
'Cause they know that I lied
and confirmed all their awful fears.
A little bit of juice will never wash away their tears.
Mm!
A little bit of juice will help me hit
a curveball up the gap.
But a little bit of juice will never
help me to escape the trap
of the court and the judge
and the guys who give me the sneers.
A little bit of juice will never wash away their tears.
Mm-hm!
(bass singer)
Have you heard when you're using steroids
you rage and get annoyed night and day!
Used "the clear," you're drinking it like beer
and just like your career, it's gone away!
(lead singer)
Mmmm!
A little bit of juice will help me chase
Aaron, Bonds and Babe Ruth's ghost!
But a little bit of juice got me on
the front page of the New York Post!
Now my name's always booed
by the fans who've had fourteen beers!
A little bit of juice will never wash away their tears.
I'm losing all my hair! Impotence!
I'll be dead in about five years!
A little bit of juice will never wash away my tears!
A little bit of juice will never wash away my tears!
Never, never, never, never wash away my tears.
(repeat 'til fade)
a fastball over the fence.
But a little bit of juice will never
heal the rift with all my friends.
'Cause they know that I lied
and confirmed all their awful fears.
A little bit of juice will never wash away their tears.
Mm!
A little bit of juice will help me hit
a curveball up the gap.
But a little bit of juice will never
help me to escape the trap
of the court and the judge
and the guys who give me the sneers.
A little bit of juice will never wash away their tears.
Mm-hm!
(bass singer)
Have you heard when you're using steroids
you rage and get annoyed night and day!
Used "the clear," you're drinking it like beer
and just like your career, it's gone away!
(lead singer)
Mmmm!
A little bit of juice will help me chase
Aaron, Bonds and Babe Ruth's ghost!
But a little bit of juice got me on
the front page of the New York Post!
Now my name's always booed
by the fans who've had fourteen beers!
A little bit of juice will never wash away their tears.
I'm losing all my hair! Impotence!
I'll be dead in about five years!
A little bit of juice will never wash away my tears!
A little bit of juice will never wash away my tears!
Never, never, never, never wash away my tears.
(repeat 'til fade)
Moral of the story: When you shake hands with the devil, count your fingers. Speaking of Devils, when is this damn lockout going to end? I want my hockey back!
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It's not just your fingers you have to worry about, when you mess with 'roids. As Claude P. pointed out, you really don't want your balls juiced. I remember an earlier version of the original, by Nigel Olssen, who was known mainly as Elton John's drummer.
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