One deal makes you larger
And no deal makes you small,
And the one Theresa offers
Don’t do anything at all;
Go ask Boris
When he’s in the mall.

And if you go chasing Brexit
And you know you’re going to fall,
Tell them a promise on a placard
Has sent you up the wall;
Then tell Nigel
When he takes your call.

When the business in the Commons
Moves at the pace of snails,
And the nation you grew up in
Seems to hurtle off the rails,
Expect Michael
To be telling tales.

When the rich men in the boardrooms
Get up and tell you where to go
And you’ve just had a referendum
And the cogs are grinding slow,
Go ask Jacob
Who thinks he'll know.

When logic and distortion
Have mangled in your head,
And the Cabinet is fractured
And the Dancing Queen’s off her head,
Remember what the dormouse said:
“Free your head
Free your head!”