Song Parodies -> "Cane Toads"

Original Song Title:

"Hey Joe"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Cane Toads"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Cane toads are one of the more well-known examples of an invasive species, that is, a species introduced to a country that proceeds to wreck havoc on the local ecosystem. And here's an angry man singin' about 'em. Enjoy

Cane toads
Why you gotta be invadin' my land?
Cane toads
I said, were supposed to stop the cane beetles, man
How could you fail that, are you all lazy?
I heard you're killin' lots of quolls with your poison glands
Yeah
Not on purpose, I knew you were lazy
You're gettin' eaten, and that kills lots of creatures, man
Heh, and that's far from cool

Damn cane toads
Bringin' the ecosystem down
Cut it out now
Cane toads
Fill with rage when I see you around
Hoppin' round in my town
Yeah

All you warty buggers
I just wish I could stop you now, stop you right now
We've tried simple capture
But the poor blue-tongues got caught as well, gets me down
Because I like blue-tongues
You bastards

Just die
I'm meant to kill you humanely
Don't
Deserve it
Nope
Not right

Cane toads, said now
Wish I could smash your heads now
I got golf clubs, they'd do
Cane toads, I said
seems that's far from legal, now
Cause I might squash the wrong toad
That would suck

Should stop you breedin' now
So no more gettin' bizzay
Alright
Bring in sterile males now
Or in the girls, stick a gene
So they'd only make males, see
Could it work? It's gotta
Bloody better, cause I'm far too angry
It takes all of my patience, now
Not to go kapow!
Ca-a-ane toads
Pray I don't go-u to town
With a club, flat toad spree
Whack!

Seriously, Wikipedia quote on killing the sodding things: "Inhumane ways include spraying with Dettol, Phenyl and using golf clubs, but these are illegal in most states and territories." That's just how much Australia hates cane toads, they'll invent sports based around replacing the ball with a cane toad. Charming stuff. My home country, ladies and gentlemen! Wouldn't have it any other way. Well, having it without the invasive species would be nice.

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Patrick - November 12, 2014 - Report this comment

Do they show "The Simpsons" in Australia. Someone needs to get out an old history book and see how the passenger pigeon and the bison were all but eliminated from North America in the 19th century. You'd probably have to relax some of the gun laws. Golfing with toads sounds like an interesting sport, but a bit messy, no doubt. Passenger pigeons were used for trap shooting targets. When they became extinct, the manufactured substitutes were referred to as "clay pigeons" to this day. Is there some other creature that eats cane toads? You could import a few million of those from some other country...

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