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Song Parodies -> "You're Sixteen, I'm Forty-Nine, And You're Jail"
Original Song Title:
"You're Sixteen"
Original Performer:
Johnny Burnette (covered by Ringo Starr)
Parody Song Title:
"You're Sixteen, I'm Forty-Nine, And You're Jail"
Parody Written by:
Tommy Turtle
The Lyrics
The downside of having so many creative geniuses at AmIRight is that you can come up with a brilliant parody idea, scribble it out, fine-tune it, go to submit it, and then find out that Rick Duncan did it three years ago. Memo to self: Next time, check the archives before writing, not after. Well, as the Turtle always says, "Great minds run in the same gutter". Having done all this work, I might as well post it anyway - most of the words are different.
Ooh,
You come on hot to me
My fantasy
Skin soft, silky, and pale
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
You're next door neighbor's girl
Virginal pearl
Sit for my daughter, Gail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Ba-by-sitter
Loves to pet
Just one thing that we ain't done yet
Against the law
To cherry-pop
So, ooh, when we kiss
It's there we stop!
Ooh,
You walked out of my dreams
To work for my wife
Tempting teenager tail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
So, I'm beggin' you, please
Down on my knees
(While here, sniff and inhale)
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
You're a hottie
Make me sweat
We start to smooch and my pants get wet
Go all the way?
Mom calls a cop
And I hate jail
My putz' gonna pop!
Ooh,
You're Lolita in flesh
So young and fresh
Legal worries assail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
How I ache as I ail
Whine, moan and wail
But, I can't afford bail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
You're my little
Pussy-cat
Touch me where I could hang my hat
In see-through shirt
Pink mi-ni-skirt
I need you bad
My balls really hurt!
Ooh,
You sun-bathe in your string
Show ev'rything
Stuff I'd so love to nail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Seeing pert pubic crop
Warm and wet mop
Will my willpower fail?
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Nubile baby
Nude nymph-ette
Pout, perk-y point-ers; sprout such a set
I meet you at
The high school hop
Then we sneak off
To lingerie shop!
Ooh,
Fun and fox-y fe-male
Read you in Braille
God, it's "hard" to be male
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Really rant, rave, and rail
Quake for that quail
Sex life with wife: so stale
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Take you ridin'
In my 'Vette
We're making out on the day we met
It's twen-ty years
If pants I drop
No, can't get caught
With teeny-bop!
Ooh,
You 're so fragile and frail
Fly you to Vail
Have Feds hot on my trail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Pull-ing pri-son de-tail?
Walls I would scale
Get you, my Holy Grail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail!
You come on hot to me
My fantasy
Skin soft, silky, and pale
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
You're next door neighbor's girl
Virginal pearl
Sit for my daughter, Gail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Ba-by-sitter
Loves to pet
Just one thing that we ain't done yet
Against the law
To cherry-pop
So, ooh, when we kiss
It's there we stop!
Ooh,
You walked out of my dreams
To work for my wife
Tempting teenager tail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
So, I'm beggin' you, please
Down on my knees
(While here, sniff and inhale)
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
You're a hottie
Make me sweat
We start to smooch and my pants get wet
Go all the way?
Mom calls a cop
And I hate jail
My putz' gonna pop!
Ooh,
You're Lolita in flesh
So young and fresh
Legal worries assail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
How I ache as I ail
Whine, moan and wail
But, I can't afford bail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
You're my little
Pussy-cat
Touch me where I could hang my hat
In see-through shirt
Pink mi-ni-skirt
I need you bad
My balls really hurt!
Ooh,
You sun-bathe in your string
Show ev'rything
Stuff I'd so love to nail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Seeing pert pubic crop
Warm and wet mop
Will my willpower fail?
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Nubile baby
Nude nymph-ette
Pout, perk-y point-ers; sprout such a set
I meet you at
The high school hop
Then we sneak off
To lingerie shop!
Ooh,
Fun and fox-y fe-male
Read you in Braille
God, it's "hard" to be male
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Really rant, rave, and rail
Quake for that quail
Sex life with wife: so stale
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Take you ridin'
In my 'Vette
We're making out on the day we met
It's twen-ty years
If pants I drop
No, can't get caught
With teeny-bop!
Ooh,
You 're so fragile and frail
Fly you to Vail
Have Feds hot on my trail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
Pull-ing pri-son de-tail?
Walls I would scale
Get you, my Holy Grail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail
You're sixteen, I'm forty-nine, and you're jail!
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 3 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 10 | 9 | 10 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
fun to sing along with...great job
Shame on you, for writing such a clever parody...
Thanks, alvin and AFW! Yes, I'm very ashamed....
Much funnier than Jim Croce's "Five Short Minutes Of Loving (gave me 25 years in jail)" 555! Now, how come I don't have neighbors like that? :-)
QC79, thanks! Probably safer that you don't....
The age of consent in VA I believe is 16. TMGLTM but "Read you in Braille" was my favorite. 3 5s (or 15 years if my knowledge of VA law is not accurate).
Well done on a touchy subject. All 5's. When is visiting day?
Red Ant, thanks! Lots of acronyms thrown to this n00b, but I'm guessing: Too Many Good Lines To Mention? - in which case, TUVM., and feel free to mention all the good lines you want to...
I think it's 16 in the Netherlands, 14 in Kentucky, 12 in Arkansas... For the record, I've never messed with anyone under 12 except once, and that doesn't count, 'cause she was my sister....
Dirty Hairy, thanks! Had visiting privileges revoked for putting inappropriate material on the 'Net, but thanks for asking :)
I think it's 16 in the Netherlands, 14 in Kentucky, 12 in Arkansas... For the record, I've never messed with anyone under 12 except once, and that doesn't count, 'cause she was my sister....
Dirty Hairy, thanks! Had visiting privileges revoked for putting inappropriate material on the 'Net, but thanks for asking :)
Arkansas is also accommodating for threesomes, aslong as their COMBINED ages are over 12.
Great parody, too.
Great parody, too.
Luke, thanks!
And for Dubya's spies snooping on this site, all of this was a joke! A JOKE, got it?! Now, go catch some real bad guys!
And for Dubya's spies snooping on this site, all of this was a joke! A JOKE, got it?! Now, go catch some real bad guys!
Very funny.
Larry, thanks.
Well, considering how long Turtles lives, 49 should be a misspent youth. This parody was an American beauty. (I'm presuming you get the joke.) As for Dubya catching bad guys, he ain't exactly good at that, is he? Come to think of it, Osama bin Laden turns 49 this year. Had Bush kept his promise, bin Laden would've been dead at 44. Ant: Actually, in Virginia, 14 is the age of consent, as long as you're married first. (Just a joke... I hope!)
Michael, yes, liked the movie joke, and that flick flitted thru head once or twice while writing this... thanks.
My fave lines were "Legal worries assail" and "Touch me where I could hang my hat". Lots of great lines in here.
Peregrin: Thanks, and the irony, which I didn't bother to mention when first posted, is that in my State (not my state, which is utter confusion, usually ;), the age of consent was also 16 when I was "a bit younger". At 24, I dated a girl - no, a woman -- who was 17 (LEGAL at the time!), and believe me, she knew the score. Scary to think that that would have been a felony a bit later on.
[soapbox] What's ironic is that the Internet has made readily available what we could only learn and discuss in back alleys; then, movies and telly followed suit. So kids today are so much more sophisticated, yet ages of consent have been raised in various US States.
The Internet required a uniform age of consent for explicit material, which the Feds set as 18, which leaves two intriguing questions:
1) If a girl of 16 in the Netherlands posts pics of her netherlands, where it's fully legal to do so at that age, why is it illegal for me to view them within the US? Not that I ever would, of course - *really*. (allergic to iron cages) -- but not illegal if I went to her country, or many others, with my trusty laptop (somewhat elevated, lol).
2) When girls of 16 do sexting (US-only term? Sending nude pics of oneself via cell phone), or post same on FaceTwit, could they not be arrested for publishing kidpawrn -- even of themselves? Hasn't happened yet that I know of, but AFAIK, the law makes no exception for one's own body.
Inquiring (enquiring) minds want to know ...
[soapbox] What's ironic is that the Internet has made readily available what we could only learn and discuss in back alleys; then, movies and telly followed suit. So kids today are so much more sophisticated, yet ages of consent have been raised in various US States.
The Internet required a uniform age of consent for explicit material, which the Feds set as 18, which leaves two intriguing questions:
1) If a girl of 16 in the Netherlands posts pics of her netherlands, where it's fully legal to do so at that age, why is it illegal for me to view them within the US? Not that I ever would, of course - *really*. (allergic to iron cages) -- but not illegal if I went to her country, or many others, with my trusty laptop (somewhat elevated, lol).
2) When girls of 16 do sexting (US-only term? Sending nude pics of oneself via cell phone), or post same on FaceTwit, could they not be arrested for publishing kidpawrn -- even of themselves? Hasn't happened yet that I know of, but AFAIK, the law makes no exception for one's own body.
Inquiring (enquiring) minds want to know ...
Last comment: wish mobile phones (US = Cell) existed when *I* was 16! Sigh.
A 17 year old who 'knew the score'? Superbowl fan, was she? :)
A 17 year old who 'knew the score'? Superbowl fan, was she? :)
"Knew the score" doesn't fly South? (I theenk that's facetious, but *just in case* -- else, skip this)
= "Was well aware of [the pertinent circumstances and facts; in this case, the facts of life and love and lovin' "
I hate being bothered and GPS-tracked everywhere I go, and keep my portable phone off most of the time, but then, if girls had been texting said pics when I was 16, I sigh with you...
"Mobile" really has here also replaced "Cell", which was short for "Cellular", referring to the technology of regularly-spaced towers handing off as one crossed from one tower's "cell" of signal coverage to another, which is way TMI, I know (sigh).
"Smartphone" is replacing "Mobile", although TT has only a dumbphone, to match its owner.
= "Was well aware of [the pertinent circumstances and facts; in this case, the facts of life and love and lovin' "
I hate being bothered and GPS-tracked everywhere I go, and keep my portable phone off most of the time, but then, if girls had been texting said pics when I was 16, I sigh with you...
"Mobile" really has here also replaced "Cell", which was short for "Cellular", referring to the technology of regularly-spaced towers handing off as one crossed from one tower's "cell" of signal coverage to another, which is way TMI, I know (sigh).
"Smartphone" is replacing "Mobile", although TT has only a dumbphone, to match its owner.
Yes, it flys. Facetious it was, indeed!
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