I hear that cat a-pukin’
He’s pukin’ on my bed
And if I catch that bugger
That cat is dead
I got a barfin’ kitty
And he keeps spewin’ on
He’s a pain, keep on cleanin’
Until that mess is gone

When he was just a kitten
My daughter said “How cute!”
Always be a good pet
Till I looked in my boot
Then I tossed him from the window
Just to watch him fly
When I hear those chunks a-blowin’
I kiss a towel goodbye

He’s always rich food eatin’
In a fancy feastin’ can
He never eats those crunchies
Or that leftover Spam
And I know that back it’s comin’
A big hairball for me
If I killed I’d be a movin’
And so I’m on my knee

Well, if that cat would just stop horkin’
And stopped eatin’ like a hog
I bet I’d like him so much better
Least he ain’t a dog
I’ll take barfin’ kitty
Than barkin’ ev’ry day
So I guess I’ll clean that carpet
Wipe the stains away