I feel the pain a comin’
It’s rumblin’ ‘round the bend
And I won’t see the sunshine
‘Til I don’t know when
I’m stuck inside this bathroom
And time keeps draggin’ on
But the pain keeps a rumblin’
All the way into the throne.

When I was at the restaurant
The waitress told me, “Hun,
You shouldn't eat the chili
‘less you have cast-iron buns.”
But I ate a couple helpings
Just to give it a try
Now I feel my tummy rumblin’
I hang my head and cry

I could’ve had a burger
A side of greasy fries
I could’ve had some coffee
And sampled all their pies
But now I can feel the burnin’
To an intense degree
As that chili keeps a movin’
And that’s what tortures me

Well when I make it off this toilet
When the chili passes through
I’ll soothe myself with aloe vera
And there’s one more thing I’ll do
I’ll heed a waitress warning
She knows the food it seems
And I will not eat the chili
Unless I eat some ice cream