My Daddy was a Chef when I was three.
But he never cooked much for Ma and Me,
Just "hardboiled eggs" and "chiii extroidinaire"
Well I didn''t blame him when he ran and hid,
but the meanest thing he ever did was before he left
He went and named me "RIP"
I had a "God Given Talent" and it was plain to see,
The doctors called it "F.O.C."
Seems I was "Passin' Gas" my whole life through.
Some Dude would challenge, and I'd get "red."
I'd "Lift a Cheek" and just "Knock'em Dead."
I'm telling 'Ya" life wasn't easy for a "Boy Named RIP."
So, I grew up fast and I grew up mean.
I was the baddest thing they'd ever seen.
"Carter's Little Farter Starters" didn't have nothin' on me.

I got a new job in mid July and I just checked in and I was feelin" spry,
So I stepped outside to have myself a "Cigar"
My "Team leader" happpened to be passing by
He looked at me and let out a cry: "Your name is RIP !. You're goin' down, son !.
He followed back inside the "Shop".
I must admit I was in a "state of shock".
He was "Rantin' and Ravin', Claimin' to be Number One".
His face turned red and he let "One Go".
I must admit he nearly "stole the show"
He "cleared out half the Shop before was through"
I nonchalantly just started fartin'
It reminded the folks of "Old George Carlin"
"The RIP, the Tear Ass, and the one that just went Whoosh".
My "Grand Finale" reverberated right off the wall,
The spectators were prayin' I'd end it all.
They were "Clutchin' and Grabbin" for the chains to the roll-up doors.

The "Fart Off" was over and it was plain to see,
My Team leader had lost and it was "Victory".
He stood there lookin' at me, and then I saw him smile.
What could I do !.
I got all choked up, threw down my tweaker, picked out a "wedgie",
And tied my sneaker.
I came away with a different point of view.
I think about it every now and then,
But every time I do it's always the same.
If I ever have a "Son"
I'll name him "Skip" or "Flip",
Anything but "RIP" !.