Well now, Wally and Eddie were sweethearts
They were two ass-and-blue ball guys
They were both long lickin' bad fudge packers
With a naked come hither style
And they were she men
Clearly all of the time

Well Eddie he picked up the Beaver
And he laid him on his back
He said he had a little packin' to do
Before he steamrolled down that track
Said "I'm a he man
You're gonna love my prong"

Well Wally hurled up some warm soda
Worryin' 'bout his man
Far away the Beaver was writhing
On the end of Eddie's hand
He was Wally's man
But he was doin' him wrong

Then in the back door shoved a red head
Eddie pushed all the way
Beav banged against the headboard
Back arched and both legs splayed
He was Wally's man
But he was far away

He banged the old song with the red head
Beav screamed back at him
Then he came and turned on the cable
To the gay porn channel ten
What Wally didn't know
Wouldn't hurt him none

Well the Beaver jumped up and crapped then
He crapped a time or two
He said "You're Wally's fister
But now I'm crappin' 'cause of you
If you're his man
You better treat him right

Well the moral of this story
Pack wood , don't marry a prick
Sometimes it looks like the big fudge packers
Just don't care who they stick
He was Wally's man
But he still was Beaver's prong