Early this mornin' my a-larm did sound
I shot up from my pillow and I took a look around
I should have GOT-ten up out of bed
I hit the lovin' snooze and overslept instead

Got to the office twenty minutes late
Missed the elevator and I could-n't wait
Ran up the stairs; I tripped on my shoe
I spilled my breakfast smoothie on my sweater, too

Stuck in the bathroom, cleaning the spot
Found out our meeting moved to nine o'clock
I said, "Mercy Me, my sweater won't be dry!"
Used a rainy puddle as my a-li-bi

So in I went to stand before the Board
Oh, I thought I nailed it, pretty sure they were floored
It turns out THEY thought I was de-ranged
Nobody told me that our market scheme had changed

When I left the meeting I was filled with rage
Boss said he sent a note, ne-ver got that page
I swear, HE sets me up to fail
Sometimes I think I'd get better treatment in jail

Two thirty came, there was more work to do
My boss said "Hey, I want a word with you
That promotion that we'd talked a-bout?"
He said "I'm giving it to Susie cause that girl puts out!"

So down to H-R I quickly ran
Had to be something to DO 'bout that man
Be-fore on my story I could touch
They said, "We're cutting in-sur-ance, it costs too much."

Stood in that office, and hardly could speak
"Who'll pay for my surgery next week?"
"Your kidney transplant will have to wait--
Next week's Disaster Training, better not be late!"

I sat and cried sitting back at my desk
Got an email adding to my stress
It read "Your new office mate is Fred."
I knew I never should have gotten out of bed!

Come on you've gotta listen unto me
Steer clear of workin' and play the Lottery!