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Song Parodies -> "Secret Agent Grans"

Original Song Title:

"Secret Agent Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Rivers

Parody Song Title:

"Secret Agent Grans"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

This is a parody that I wrote last year right after "No-one has work anymore" but for some reason didn't post at the time, I can't quite remember why but it was probably a filler line or two that I wanted to continue working on but never got around to. Anyway, the premise is that with ever growing life expectancy in the West combined with the down spiralling recession there’s no wonder that politicians are starting to talk about how the elderly must be persuaded to keep working at a higher age or the pension systems are gonna collapse, there’s even talk about how we as a society must create new jobs for the elderly that are interesting, exciting and exotic so that they don't wanna retire in the first place. Now that got me thinking, with the only two branches not affected by the recession being the military and the always ever expanding governmental surveillance sector that basically only leaves one line of work left for granny if she wanna support herself during her old age. Here's a song about it set to a Golden Oldie (no pun intended) that I’ve come to know through Amiright.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
There are grans who are out of their rockers
Two times a day they still need beta blockers
Whatever fo they stake
An aid keeps them awake
Odds are they will grab some bran tomorrow

Secret agent grans
Work for Uncle Sam
They're girdled when they slumber
For twelve hours a frame

Beware when wheel chairs race you from behind
If Mattlock’s on your rights aren’t worth a dime
And before they’re in their graves
Some health care funds are saved
Odds are they will need depends tomorrow

Secret agent grans
Spookin' Pakistan
They're taking down Al-Qaida
But can't recall your name

(Grumbling Voices Over Lost Chords Old School Guitar Solo)

Secret agent grans
They need prunes at hand
There's action when they bumble
And shakin' when they aim

Smuggling in some brand Viagra one day
All their screws come loose and Bond retires next day
And if they go for coke on ships
Then the waves might break their hips
Odds are they won't wake at all tomorrow

Secret agent grans
CPAP near at hand
They shuffle more than rumble
A bunch of SAGgy dames
© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Glen S - March 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Very funny idea, Peter. Enjoyed all the jokes, but 'agent grans/prunes at hand' stood out to me
Rob Arndt - March 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Wonderful idea-555!!! there actually were some WW2 grannies that worked for the partisans/resistance as spies and also a few that worked for MI6 as code ciphers and Home Guard!!! Nazi grannies even directed fire against Allied armor and/or used Panzerfaust weapons in Berlin!!!
pickle - March 24, 2012 - Report this comment
This year's Budget in the UK was known here as the 'granny tax' and I can see there's some desperate grandmas here who would only be too happy to be secret agents! Would they make their getaways on motability scooters?

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