-> "My Bravery, Dings (Street Racing)"
Original Song Title:
"My Favorite Things"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"My Bravery, Dings (Street Racing)"
The Lyrics
Gang all supposed that with fear, I’d be stricken
When Robert Pettis called me a “big chicken”
Crowned as the Ultimate Street Racing King
Dared me, my ownership papers to bring
Jamie Mulroney said, “Best use your noodle!
"Floor it around the first curve, or this dude’ll --
"-- Ease up beside you with eyes all agleam,
"Leave you with nothing but bent steel and steam…”
Spill was impressive, with movie-like crashes
Dirt in my eyes; on my nose, bloody gashes
Looked like a victim from film “Halloween”
Scaring a few of my neighbors, this scene
Flashing red lights
Siren screaming
Senses reeling…Gad!
A speed-of-light sprinter who felt like a fling
Now, inside I squeal ... like mad!
Slow drips from IV, and woozy, I’m gittin’
Pre-operation; with orderly, smitten
Gown gapes in back, catches onto bedsprings,
Rips off, revealing my most private things
Scream for attorney; resistance is futile
Sterilized tray, tools, whole kit and caboodle
Doc stitches five rows of surgical seams
Red, black, and blue go Daytonian dreams [2]
Nurse in white dress went to school back in Natchez
Comes in each day to change gauze and eye patches
Picking the splinters, the iodine stings
Piece of adhesive that stubbornly clings
Out of fog: lights
Voice in ear, rings
Wince at needle’s stab
From racing, dismembered, my limbs all in slings
Next time I shall call ... a cab!
[1] "draft" - a little pun for the race crowd. :)
[2] For those outside the US (or those outside the NASCAR belt, lol), Daytona Beach, Florida, is home to the Daytona International Speedway, which in turn [3] is the home of "the biggest and greatest race in all of NASCAR, 'The Great American Race', the Daytona 500". (804.7 km)
NASCAR (National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing) is headquartered in Daytona Beach, as both NASCAR and the Speedway itself were founded by the late Bill France, Sr.
[3] "in turn" - OMG, puns everywhere! (It's a banked tri-oval.)
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 10 |
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