"One", votes he, "pacing", "funny"; "One", overall
"One" is his IQ, dummy; dumb as a doll
Bawl!
StupidCallowFrailAutisticWreck;SeeHowLow,VotesUs
Does he think his judgment, stinking, actu'lly demotes us?
Me: the more page hits he gives, the more that he promotes us
He must really like our work, 'cause so much time: devotes, us!
Gripe: 'haps political? Too Left or too Right?
Fine: comments critical; but *logic*, not shite
We work hard on our parodies
When worthy: pride, we post
And if we've done them skillfully
Get good votes, all or most
Creep, cowardly anonymous
(Perhaps a haunting ghost?)
Thinks with his nonsense voting, he
Can turn them into toast!
Roast!
StupidCallowFrailAutisticWreck;SeeHowLow,VotesUs
If he leaves a comment, it undoubtedly misquotes us
"Do us harm", deludes himself, by ramming down our throats, thus
CT scan reveals his "brain" is really made of goat's pus!
You - can do better? Post! Let's see what ya got
Why stay anonymous? 'Cause *you* ain't done squat!
Okay to disagree, or not --
-- To care for what we've done
"De gustibus non disputan-
dum est." Don't like my pun? [1]
If you don't find it funny; fine!
But perfect pacing: "One"?
Just sign your name and point to all
The errors we have spun!
NONE!
SuperShallowFragileEgo'dUnabomb'sPathetic!
Finding fine-tuned funnies freaks him out, makes fool frenetic
Someone, grab this goon and harp an hour's homiletic
Plainly wacky; painf'lly lacking sense of the aesthetic!
"Birds of a feather flock togeth-er"; 'tis true
You, Ted Kaczynski: Unabomb-ers, that's two [2]
TURTLE: [spoken:]
You know, this moron votes all bass-ackwards
rectumuphissidewaysbroomstickbrokenshoveadluohseH
But that might not be far enough,
Don't you think?
AMIRIGHTERS: [spoken:]
Indubitably!
TURTLE: [resume singing:]
We've many writers, excellent
Whom, proudly, we have hailed
(Three Fives!)
Ignore as moron pours on more
Of votes as if we've failed
He's lucky we support free speech
Or else we'd have him jailed
[spoken:]
Um, your opinion?
Yes?
MANY FINE WRITERS AND HONEST VOTERS: [singing]
Been hoist by own petard, retard!
By Tommy Turtle, *nailed*!
[spoken:]
Oh, scum's a sad sack of sh*t, too!
TURTLE: [resume singing:]
It...
Doesn't matter: good or great, or even if outstanding
Ev'ry one, he'll lowly rate, his vacu-ous blows, landing
Nor has he a higher bar, or standards more demanding
Just that doltish dummkopf is devoid: vocab, commanding
We shall carry on our fun, his One-bombs, notwithstanding!
[1] Ah, go look it up, ya lazy bums!
(kidding! ... "There is no arguing about tastes.")
[2] The "actual", original, Unabomber, as described more fully in
the intro to this one