Count the days into years
Her twenty-three brings many fears
Day job don’t pay much, brings her tears

But Kelli does have other plans
At least she’s got an OnlyFans
People pay to watch her pee
If it pays, it’s fine, you see
An inner voice gives her a gibe
“Without more vids, they’ll unsubscribe”

Grocer Kel, Grocer Kel
What is that smell? The quinoa’s bad
It makes me sad, oh no, oh no

Grocer Kel, Grocer Kel
What is that smell? The quinoa’s bad
Now folks are mad, oh no, oh no

The people that live here in Keene
Don’t understand
Why does this food make them all turn green?
The produce here is hit or miss
Did that polenta taste like piss?
Husbands moan at dinner tables
“Hey honey, did you read the labels?
You messed up the reci-pee
What you cooked is ailin’ me”

Grocer Kel, Grocer Kel
Hey what the hell? This yellow hue…
Now, was that you? Oh no, oh no

Grocer Kel, Grocer Kel
Hey what the hell? This yellow hue…
What did you do? Oh no, oh no

And now it’s morning, bright and clear
Cleaning fluids’ pungent odor fills the air
Food was thrown out and recalled
And the townsfolk are appalled
Now they hear she’ll go on trial
What she did, they think it’s vile
Some naughty people don’t agree
“If Kel could do it, why can’t we?”

“Grocer Kel, Grocer Kel
Is it true you can’t upload vids from your cell
Oh no, oh no” (5X)