I hear the hound dog barking
And the air is turning blue
Her lipstick's all been smudged
And the heel's come off her shoe
She staggers to the kitchen
With her hair all hanging down
Oh 'Ruby' Ruby's bin to town

Her dress is torn, her stockings holed
She looks a real disgrace
I says, where the hell you've bin?
She says, Shut Yer Fffffing Face!
Then she falls
headlong across the floor
And I help her with my boot
Oh Ruby, You're as pissed
as a newt!

She's been down to the Rudd's Arms
Drinking gin and telling lies
How she ain't
happily married
And she goes with other guys
All around the town they talk
Cos they all know what she's like
Oh Ruby, yes Ruby you're a bike

In the bathroom I can hear her
Sounds like a lions roar
The way I've heard her spewing up
A hundred times before
And do you know, if I had a gun
I'd put the old cow down
Oh Ruby, Ruby's bin to town

Oh Ruby, for God's sake !!!