When you’re a pet you’re a pest every day
From the food that you get and money I pay
When you’re a pet you just wait for that can
And leave fur all around I must use a dustpan

You chew on a bone, you’re howlin’ and a yappin’
I moan and I groan, I have to smell the crappin’
I’m too protected
I’m still upset
Now I’m looking at “P”
What the heck did I get?
A companion to me?
When you’ve a pet you need...
A net!

When you’re a pet you’re a fat cat or dog
You’re a mommies new “kid” that will eat like a hog
When you’re a pet you’re someone’s giant world
Little pup, you’re a boy, little cat, you’re a girl
The pets are so dear, the conversation sickens
The barks you don’t hear, cause every neighborhood’s
As loud as dickens

Here comes the pets, a menagerie hell
Always there in the way, Holy cow, there’s the smell
Here comes the pets, everyone step aside
Better go ‘cross the street, there’s a pitbull outside

He’s not on a leash, so keep the hoses squirtin’
He’s baring his teeth, someone will soon be hurtin’
Soon blood be spurtin’
Here come the pets!
Yow! And they’re gonna rule!
Takin’ over the earth
With their slobber and drool!
With their all present slobber and Drooooool!