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Song Parodies -> "Sturtze, So Bad"
Original Song Title:
"Hurts So Bad"
Original Performer:
Little Anthony & the Imperials
Parody Song Title:
"Sturtze, So Bad"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
(The opening comment about this parody of Yankee pitcher Tanyon Sturtze -- definitely rhymes with "hurts" -- has been censored due to its author's multiple profanities.)
I know you
ain't the pitcher who comes through.
Standing here, screaming at you!
Well lemme tell you that it's
(Sturtze!)
Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
Yes, Tanyon Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
I hate that Sturtze, so bad!
He's lost it again!
So rare that he wins, people say.
His curveball, it ain't okay.
He's a mess, each time that we play.
Well lemme tell you that it's
(Sturtze!)
Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
Yes, Tanyon Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
I hate that Sturtze, so bad!
He's lost it again!
Why does he stay?
(Stay)
In the Yanks bullpen?
(Stay)
We should not pitch him again!
He's been bad before!
He'll be bad again!
Joe Torre, don't go back to him!
(Sturtze must go, Sturtze must go!)
Well lemme tell you that it's
(Sturtze!)
Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
Yes, Tanyon Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
I hate that Sturtze, so bad!
He's lost it again!
(Sturtze must go, Sturtze must go!)
Well lemme tell you that it's
(Sturtze!)
Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
Yes, Tanyon Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
I hate that Sturtze, so bad!
He's lost it again!
(Sturtze must go, Sturtze must go!)
Oy! Oy!
(Sturtze!)
Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
Yes, Tanyon Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
I hate that Sturtze, so bad!
He's lost it again!
(fade out... wish Sturtze would)
ain't the pitcher who comes through.
Standing here, screaming at you!
Well lemme tell you that it's
(Sturtze!)
Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
Yes, Tanyon Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
I hate that Sturtze, so bad!
He's lost it again!
So rare that he wins, people say.
His curveball, it ain't okay.
He's a mess, each time that we play.
Well lemme tell you that it's
(Sturtze!)
Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
Yes, Tanyon Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
I hate that Sturtze, so bad!
He's lost it again!
Why does he stay?
(Stay)
In the Yanks bullpen?
(Stay)
We should not pitch him again!
He's been bad before!
He'll be bad again!
Joe Torre, don't go back to him!
(Sturtze must go, Sturtze must go!)
Well lemme tell you that it's
(Sturtze!)
Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
Yes, Tanyon Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
I hate that Sturtze, so bad!
He's lost it again!
(Sturtze must go, Sturtze must go!)
Well lemme tell you that it's
(Sturtze!)
Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
Yes, Tanyon Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
I hate that Sturtze, so bad!
He's lost it again!
(Sturtze must go, Sturtze must go!)
Oy! Oy!
(Sturtze!)
Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
Yes, Tanyon Sturtze, so bad!
(Sturtze, so bad!)
I hate that Sturtze, so bad!
He's lost it again!
(fade out... wish Sturtze would)
See also, "I'm-a Jeff Weaver," "Loaiza" and "I Went and Broke My Hand" (for Kevin Brown). Strangely, I never wrote one for Jose "Can You Pitch" Conteras.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 4 | 3 | 4 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
He's certainly not the Grand Tanyon. 555
The dude couldn't do a thing.
Tanyon Sturtze is from Worcester, Massachusetts. So is Chucky. These things tend to even out.
DKTOS, but 5.55 ERA.
A 5.55 ERA, Larry? For Sturtze, that would be an improvement!
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